Becoming a father may seem daunting at first. You've taken a while to grow up yourself and now you have a little one to take care of.
While it may seem that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting, dads have their own responsibilities to fulfil–becoming a dad isn't just about providing. Dads today are more involved as parents and that means being present for your child in more ways than just being the breadwinner.
As a first-time dad, you need to make several changes to your life that prepare you for the thick and thin of parenthood. You will only be able to learn this by being actively involved in raising your child.
And for that, you need to not only brush up on being an active parent but also develop some soft skills. In particular, emotional skills. As a father, you need to be emotionally available for your child, as much as for other defacto duties.
So, with a bit of trial and error, and loads of practice, first-time dads can learn about emotional skills and master them over time.
To get you started, we've compiled a list of emotional skills every dad needs to know around their children. This will not only help you become a better father but also strengthen your bond with the little one for life.
1. Gratitude
This can go a long way in learning and teaching humility to children. Placing gratitude in front of your mind can change your stance in volatile situations. It will help you see the good in others and even control your temperament.
Gratitude not only works around kids but will also help in strengthening your relationship with the spouse.
2. Empathy
Understanding a situation does not require you to undergo something similar to be empathetic about it. You need to have empathy from the heart that will make you a better father and partner.
This is especially necessary for first-time dads when their wives are going through postpartum depression in the first few weeks after childbirth.
A dad who is empathetic will be able to understand the emotional toll it takes on the mum and be supportive during this period.
3. Kindness
Being genuinely kind is a virtue. It means you are being kind to someone without hopes of getting something in return.
Dads need to know about kindness to simply pass it on to the next generation. When you practice it, your child will automatically pick it up from you. Kids learn what they see after all.
4. Assertiveness
Dads need to find a healthy balance between being aggressive and passive. This is especially necessary when it comes to family. It's an emotional skill that will ensure you can fend for your family and protect them when needed.
At the same time, it's also about working your way through friends, colleagues and extended family members. You want to be assertive about what you feel without harming someone else's feelings and burning bridges.
5. Being Attentive
Dads need to listen to what their partners have to say. That means paying attention when it matters. When it comes to emotional skills a dad needs to have, this one is in the top five for a reason.
It makes you more aware of your partner's needs before, during and after pregnancy, especially when there can be a major shift in emotions, moods, and more. Being attentive will help you read the room better.
6. Trust
When your partner trusts you, so do everyone in their extended network. At the same time, trust is a two-way street and it means that you can depend and rely on other people when you need help.
Dads may want to do everything by themselves but don't shy away from accepting help. It will only help you forge stronger relationships with your family.
7. Self Control
Mood swings can be a common problem with dads as any other adult, but it may not be the best side that your child witnesses at home. Impulse control is a skill and fathers can master it. This means modelling ideal behaviour in front of the child.
Consider the repercussions of your action and focus on the issue at large. It's easy to swipe away with what is said or done, but losing track of the bigger picture will only affect your goals and relationships in the long run.
8. Persistence
There will be days when things won't seem as favourable as you'd want. That's the day you need to push further and work your way through the obstacles.
These could be things as simple as changing the diaper at night or dealing with a child who's a picky eater. It may take multiple attempts to get things right, but you need to be willing to make the effort and try as many times as necessary to get things right.
9. Adaptability
As they say, improvise... adapt... overcome. This is a skill that not only makes you a good dad at home but a good colleague and citizen. Things will change a lot when you become a parent and it's necessary to remember to adapt as things change for the better.
While some things will work in your favour, quite a few won't. So don't stop planning and preparing. It'll only set up the ground for what you need to do.
10. Emotional Control
Being in control of your emotions speaks volumes of your mental health. And when dads are able to do so, you turn out to be a reliable parent and partner.
It's okay to feel angry, sad and have your temperament, but how you react to situations makes the difference.
11. Expressing Emotions
Not everyone finds it seamless to express how they feel. But it's something you can learn over time. Instead of bottling up what you feel about a situation, it's important to open up and discuss it openly with somebody.
If verbalising it is a problem, try writing it down. It'll give you a chance to reflect and take corrective steps when needed.
12. Curiosity
There will be many things that will happen for the first time to you as a father. But the more curious you remain about these life surprises, the better you will be at handling them.
Staying curious is a skill you want to pass on to your kids and encourage them to stay the same. It makes for an environment where a family can grow, learn and nurture.
13. Optimism
New dads who approach life with a positive attitude will spread that confidence to other family members as well. It's one of the extremely important emotional skills every dad needs.
Allowing pessimism only strains relationships in the most unnecessary situations.
14. Playfulness
Being a dad isn't just about fulfilling your responsibilities. It's also about laying back and enjoying the privilege of being a parent. This is about being a friend and mentor to your child.
It's also about letting go of things and enjoying life as it comes.
15. Tolerance
In an increasingly complicated world, tolerance is a necessary skill when it comes to emotional skills a dad needs. It makes you open to conversations in a room full of strangers.
It makes you willing and open to see new perspectives and it makes you adaptive to changing situations. These are skills your kids will need when they venture out on their own into this world.
But their first reference point to being tolerant will come from your behaviour.
Source: Fatherly
ALSO READ:
5 Things You Can Do To Raise An Emotionally Secure Child
Parenting An Empath: How To Raise An Emotionally Or Physically Sensitive Child