We know the importance of cultivating ways of effective communication with the child. And it’s even more important that parents do this in their little one’s crucial early years, when they are developing across all fronts, including speech and language.
But why is one mum suggesting that parents encourage their child’s linguistic development by talking to them like they would to a puppy?
Effective Communication With Child: Crucial For Development
Parents, if you have a pet puppy and a baby, you might find the experience of talking to both of them quite similar. After all, neither can speak back to you (yet, in the case of the baby!) and are dependent on you for well-being. Also, both are supremely cute!
That’s exactly what mummy Elissa Strauss experienced with her 18-month-old toddler, in an article on the importance of nurturing language development in toddlers.
Writing to CNN, she explains that both dogs and babies have a “baby schema”: the right mix of a big head, round face and large eyes. A face which, regardless of animal, us humans perceive as delightfully cute, and spurs us to look after and love these beings.
This baby schema also perhaps encourages us to speak to both babies and puppies in the same way: lovingly, with endearments, using a higher-pitched tone of voice and simple language.
However, giving us food for thought, Strauss goes on to say that in her opinion, the difference between puppy and baby, “is potential consequences. Nobody tells you how important it is to talk to your dog. Everybody tells you how crucial it is to talk to your baby.”
As a result, anxiety sets in for parents when looking to “communicate” with their babies. Should I reply to my baby’s babbling? Should I speak in baby language or adult talk? Do I have to constantly narrate everything I do so my baby learns how to talk?
What if things were not so complicated? In fact, what are the best ways to encourage your baby to talk?
What Are The Methods For Effective Communication With My Child?
Research focusing on the significance of speaking to babies and toddlers has found that a child’s brain grows rapidly during the initial 36 months of life.
Effective communication with child during their first three years of life is critical to their brain development.
Chat with your baby
Alice Honig is the professor emerita in the department of human development and family science at Syracuse University. According to her, “back and forth responsiveness” is key while speaking with a baby or toddler, because, in her words, it’s a “real intimate connection”.
In terms of young babies, parents can try to make a gentle “coo” sound. Be patient, wait for it… and eventually, your baby will respond with a “coo”, too.
Honig, who also co-wrote “Talking With Your Baby”, said parents and caretakers should practice the “coo” sound while the baby’s still young.
Yup, even if your little one can’t respond with a “coo” immediately!
She explains that cooing is a signal to the baby that “I’m important. Somebody is talking to me. I have to focus.” You’ll be surprised how quickly they learn – in less than a month, your baby will be able to focus instantly as you speak to them.
Use “parentese”
Honig also recommends changing the “coos” to words, and then sentences as babies grow. However, that doesn’t mean you should stop saying in what baby talk experts term as “parentese“. That is, the high pitched, long voweled, short consonants sounds which we connect to affection – which we sometimes also use to speak to puppies with!
While it may seem that parentese is silly or just “acting cute”, there are real benefits to the baby of using parentese.
Nicole Overy, an American speech-language pathologist, summarises them as below:
- Parentese supports babies in learning the language. Stretching vowel sounds and changing the pitch helps babies to understand which part of the word is the start and end. The extra emphasis on sounds also let babies learn a clear model of sounds which forms a word. According to a 1997 study from the University of Washington, exaggerated vowel sounds also help babies to differentiate vowels and different sounds from one another.
- Talking with your baby face-to-face, seeing them eye-to-eye also helps them learn how to interact with other people.
- Enables them to practise motor planning and learn how to talk. One study from Patricia Kuhl at the University of Washington found something interesting when they scanned the brains of babies while parents talked to them in parentese. As expected the language areas of the brain were stimulated — including the movement-planning too! ) areas light up as well! These findings mean that babies are actually practising the right motions to make speech while as young as 7 months – far from actual, developed speech.
One important tip from Nicole
When it comes to parentese, there is one key thing parents should remember: emphasise your speech, don’t simplify it. That means avoiding incorrect pronunciation (“Wook at de little cutie!”) and focussing on correct examples of speech (“Look at the little cutie!”) instead.
In addition, you shouldn’t shorten sentences or say grammatically incorrect sentences, either. A good example is saying “Dolly want milk?” and not “Does the dolly want milk?”
Remember, parents, it’s okay if sentences like “Does the Dolly want milk?” appear complicated to babies. They set up strong basics and will enable your kids to learn the patterns of language use easier as they grow up.
Receptive Communication Is Key
- expressive language, meaning you can respond by speaking,
- and receptive language, showing that you can understand what was said.
For example, an 18-month-old might not be able to make words or sentences. However, imagine if they did something to help you by just overhearing a topic!
In Strauss’ own experience, she was talking to her husband about feeding her dog. To her pleasant surprise, her 18-month-old proactively took a dog bowl towards the food – a good sign her baby is on the right track of developing receptive language skills.
How To Build Receptive Language Skills
Honig encourages parents to direct their attention to receptive language. She clarifies that receptive language is how parents assess a child’s understanding of her surroundings, what is happening, and what others are saying to her.
She recommends parents and caregivers nurture their baby’s receptive skills by asking questions. Particularly, those with single answers, like “Apple or Orange?” or “Happy or sad?”
Strauss feels that questions involving emotions are also a plus! These questions help your baby learn how to label and eventually understand their own feelings.
In addition, parents ought to also ask their little ones open-ended questions which drive their brains to think critically and creatively. Questions with no obvious answers will also tell children that their opinion is important.
Effective communication with child: ask them open-ended questions, like what to do with play-doh. They’ll respond with hands – not words
A good place to start would be asking toddlers a way to go around a puddle in a park by themselves or if can use a handful of clay to do something. Toddlers will often respond with their actions – despite their lack of words.
But when would you know what to do? According to Honig, “It depends. Let your child teach you where your child is at.”
Am I Doing It Right?
Why Positive Parenting Is Essential In The New Normal
Image Source: Pexels
As much as we need to stay home and stay safe during the pandemic, we also need to stay sane during this period. And this means each member of the house making extra effort to ease the pressure off each other.
This is the new normal and keeping a positive mind and attitude will only help you and your child to sail through this unprecedented storm. For children, their wings have clipped off as schools and playgrounds remain shut. They are now finding newer ways to keep themselves engaged and that can be the cause of friction.
While squabbles and disagreements are normal, if your child is showing erratic behaviour, it’s maybe time to take a step back and assess the overall attitude of the house. Some children may find it difficult to communicate their feelings. That’s why enforcing positive parenting is necessary during the new normal to manage and maintain positive behaviour. Here’s how positive parenting will help your children during the pandemic.
Speak To Your Child About Having a Positive Behaviour
You need to have an open conversation with your child about his behaviour and how it is affecting other members in the household. It’s an opportunity for the young one to self-reflect when you calmly explain the situation.
Be specific about how they are behaving and how they can improve the same. This will only encourage them to identify positive behaviours and adopt them more frequently in the future.
For toddlers and infants, two-way communication can be a task and you will have to be a lot more patient with their erratic behaviour.
However, kids do behave that way because they are feeling insecure by their surroundings and it might be a matter of just reassurance. Saying things like “mama is there with you,” or swaying an infant should do the trick time and again.
Maintain A Structure
In order to implement positive parenting techniques, there needs to be a structure in the parent-child relationship. This requires the child to realise there are consequences to their actions if they do not listen to mama or papa.
For instance, if your child is spending too much time on a mobile device even as his homework is piling up, it’s a good time to make them realise that the device can be taken away.
It also helps that you use moments like these to negotiate with the child in order to make them do things out of their own will. In the same example, you can reason with your child about all the piling homework and how it will affect his grades in the future.
Image courtesy: iStock
Let Your Children Know That You Love Them
Your child should always know that they can count on you when it comes to seeking help. Always be clear that you love them no matter what. This isn’t dependent on a lavish gift or a special treat but a reassurance that your child can look up to you in his time of need.
Providing support and guidance at the right time helps children develop self-discipline over time. As your child grows older, their foundation as individuals becomes strong and they can tackle more complex issues in life with ease. In this case, it could be as simple as going back to school in the new normal.
Pretend-Play To Help Them Learn Real Life Issues
Children learn from their parents and it’s largely based on observation than it is on what you say. The way you behave around them will largely impact their upbringing in general. That’s why you need to prepare them for the more complex outside the walls of your home and there’s no better way to do it than pretend-play.
Create situations that require your child to apply social, emotional and moral abilities. Allow them to make the decisions in that situation and see how it plays out.
Of course, this isn’t a test and your child won’t get it right the first time. But it will take lots of pretend-play games and maybe a nudge from the grown-ups to get things right.
Guide them to think about alternative behaviours to the situation so they are aware of the choices and then take the right decision. You could also try this with books by reading them stories and then ask what they thought about the situation and what they would do if ever stuck in a similar premise.
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