Anxiety is not something we associate with children. And that's because they don't express this emotion as adults do. Most children are unable to verbally express themselves when they are anxious. Instead, they may say something like, “My stomach hurts.”
If your child is saying, “Mummy, my tummy hurts” a little too often and you've ruled out real stomach issues, it's time to ask yourself does my child have anxiety?
The Real Reason Why It Hurts
They call the stomach the second brain because it is where the enteric nervous system, or intrinsic nervous system, is.
It is part of the autonomic nervous system which consists of neurons that control the gastrointestinal tract. Often, it is capable of acting independently of the nervous systems in the body.
In other words, when a child is overcome by anxiety, it's highly likely his or her stomach really hurts.
When the anxiety causes the stomach to ache, it is a cycle that will repeat as the ache causes more anxiety.
One study discovered that 51 percent of people surveyed who experienced stomach pains as children ended up with some type of anxiety disorder sometime in their lives.
What’s important to know is that when your child is saying that their stomach hurts (and you've ruled out medical reasons), they are not lying or creating a scene for attention. It is the anxiety they are facing that is manifesting through their body, right in their stomach.
Some kids might say they have a stomach ache just before going to school. They are going through separation anxiety and do not want to be away from you.
Many children have anxiety at night just before bedtime. It intensifies because the room may be dark, there are no distractions and no one is around.
As parents, we can help our children conquer anxiety and remind them that their stomach is alright - that they are just anxious and worried.
Does My Child Have Anxiety? How Do I Manage It?
These are some ways you can help your child to manage anxiety.
1. Help him learn to recognise it
The best way to help kids overcome anxiety isn’t to try to remove stressors that trigger it. Teach him to learn to tolerate the anxiety and function as well as he can. The anxiety will decrease over time.
2. Express positive and realistic expectations
Tell him that the fear isn’t real. Express confidence that he will be okay and as he faces his fears, the anxiety will reduce.
3. Respect his feelings
Acknowledge what he is feeling and reassure him that it’s going to be okay. If he fears needles and needs a shot at the clinic, tell him that you understand that he’s scared, but you will be right by his side.
4. Don’t ask leading questions
Asking “Are you anxious about the exam? Are you worried about the concert?” will magnify the anxiety. Avoid doing this.
5. Model healthy ways to deal with anxiety
As adults, we also go through anxious moments. Show your child how you cope with it and model the right behaviour. Let him hear or see you managing it calmly, tolerating it and feeling good about getting through it.
Signs That Your Child Needs Mental Health Support Post Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic has been the reason for creating underlying stress, fear, grief and isolation in adults as well as children. With lives confined within the four walls of your home, it can get mentally taxing for children and teens to cope up emotionally. Especially, at a time when they are separated from their grandparents as well as friends, who are vital sources of support in their day-to-day lives.
It’s extremely important that you keep a watch on your child to see if they show signs of mental health issues. The signs will be often subtle and will need your attention. Make sure to consult a paediatrician if you see any of the following symptoms
For Infants and toddlers
Infants and toddlers can be stressed too but can’t communicate their feelings. However, you need to watch out for:
- Slow progress in skills and developmental milestones
- Infants and toddlers may also be increasingly irritable, startling and will cry more easily. You will also find it difficult to console them
- Infants will wake up more frequently at night
- Separation anxiety, biting, more frequent tantrums will be common
- Your toddler will feel withdrawn or hesitant to explore
- Will play around themes like illness or death during pretend play
For older Children and Pre-teens
- A dramatic change in behaviour - If your child isn’t too involved in chatting on his phone or speaking to his friends via texts or video calls, it may be a cause of concern
- Children will also be more irritable and snap at the smallest of things
- Mental health issues could also see your child lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed. This could include playing games or a musical instrument
- It could be a cause of concern if your child spending a lot of time sleeping or just staying in bed
- Mental health issues can cause loss of appetite or changes in eating patterns. Your child could either be hungry all the time or eat nothing at all
- Children could also complain of concentration or memory issues
- Mental health issues can risk concerns like substance abuse in young children
Coping Up With Mental Health Post Pandemic
If you do notice any of these signs, it’s imperative that you consult your paediatirician immediately. Sometimes it’s a phase for children out of boredom but it’s important to get the right counselling for your child. Given that both you and your child are spending a lot of time at home, make sure to use this opportunity to spend time together and talk to them as friends.
Allow your child to open up to you. A conflicting mind can bring a sense of shame or guilt among young adults, which will restrict them to share their true feelings. So, please keep the line of communication open for your child to discuss whatever they are feeling. For infants and toddlers, you will have to keep a watch on their behavioural changes and development to understand if there’s an issue.
SOURCE: WebMD, Wikipedia, Healthychildren.org
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