Twins are born at the same time and often have similar looking faces. As soon as they open their eyes, they are constantly spending time together. Boredom really is non-existent because of the constant presence of the other twin, or is it?
Some kids hate being twins, even though most children wish and pray everyday for god to give them a twin. Normally kids want to feel what it is to have someone to always play with, as well as have someone to share secrets with. Of course, they also want to have a legitimate doppelganger so they can play tricks and pranks on people too.
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Twins’ actual lives
Contrary to what other people think, twins’ lives are not always a bed of roses. The fact that most people are fascinated by them often makes twins really annoyed. Kids hate being twins especially when they are asked questions like, ‘Are you twins? Who is older? And do you feel what your twin feels?’ Unfortunately, they can’t really answer this particular question as they don’t have anything to compare it to. There are many reasons why kids hate being twins. It could be categorized into the following categories: lack of individuality, lack of parental attention and too much twin responsibility.
Lack of individuality
Twins are scrutinized every single day and this is one reason why kids hate being twins. From their appearance, intellect, fashion sense to friends, twins are compared and they can’t seem to get out of each other’s shadow. Some twins can’t even make new friends without being asked why they are not with their twin.
Dig deeper and find out the real problems and why kids hate being twins
Lack of parental attention
Because twins are born together, most parents don’t really make an effort to spend time with them as they already have a twin to entertain the other twin. As they grow older, twins grow closer but are more distant to their parents. Kids hate being twins as they feel they were robbed of the opportunity to get to know their parents while they were still young.
Too much twin responsibility
Twins are raised to be held accountable for each other’s actions. The burden of being responsible for another person while young can cause a lot of resentment and other issues. Some twins may even rebel and try to transfer the responsibility to the other.
Kids do not really hate being twins. They just don’t like to be treated like twins all the time. They want to be recognized and appreciated as an individual.
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Your twins’ wishes
Twins are just like other siblings. They fight, argue and have misunderstandings. Do not let your kids hate being twins, and you can do this by allowing them to be individuals – with different choices and preferences. If you have room, offer them privacy by letting them have separate rooms. If not, let them have their ‘own’ things. While sharing is good, insist that the twins respect personal belongings and always ask for permission before borrowing something.
If there are opportunities to separate your twins, do it. Send the twins to separate summer camps, separate music/dance lessons and even separate schools. This may be a lot of hassle for you but twin separation allows lots of room to grow and excel without being in their own twin’s shadow.
If your kid hates being twins, what do you do? We’d love to hear from you. To know more about twins and how to understand them better, please view this video: