Pregnancy is a complicated time for the mother and the baby. There’s an anticipation of a new member joining the family, while you’re also scared if everything will go well through the nine-month period.
While we hope and pray that all kids come into this world hail and hearty, there are some special souls that are born fighters. They suffer from rare diseases or have a special conditions that make them different and extraordinary in their own unique way.
And for these kids to thrive, it’s the parents that go the extra mile and take some tough calls to accept their child and realise their true potential.
And with that in mind, here’s the story of Venessa McLeod who gave birth to a baby who was born without hands.
Venessa’s Baby Had Congenital Hand Deformities
Image courtesy: File Photo
Venessa admitted that when she was 19 weeks pregnant with her second child, she knew something was not right.
Her husband was away from work at the time, so she went for an ultrasound with her mum and sister. The scan took longer than usual and the doctors told her that her baby’s legs were in a criss-cross position so it was difficult to find out the gender.
The entire family was excited and admired the cute little toes of the baby. No one realised that there was no mention of the baby’s hands.
The following day, she had an appointment with the midwife. An hour before the scheduled meeting, she got a call, where she was briefed that there were some significant findings on her ultrasound.
She was asked to come along with her husband to the hospital.
Since her husband was still out of town due to work, Vanessa called her mum. All throughout, she was constantly crying and worrying thinking that she might just end up losing her baby. Her mum gave her the confidence that whatever the case, she has everyone’s support and they will get through it together.
At the hospital, it was her turn next for the examination.
Possibility of being born with a cleft lip
The doctor informed her that her baby may be born with a cleft lip. She was still hopeful and wondered, “Was that all?”
She thought that while some people might be bothered about such little things, she won’t be as long as her baby is healthy. But this was just the beginning of the bad news that the doctor had to share.
One femur of the baby was curved and shorter than the other
After further examination, the doctor informed that the baby’s one femur was curved and shorter than the other. Even though the news was difficult to accept, she still had her hope intact.
Venessa feared losing her child, so every other problem had a solution in her head.
Child will be born without arms and hands
And then came the final blow. The doctor revealed that her baby would be born without both his arms and hands. Naturally, the mum broke down.
All her hopes of having a healthy baby shattered.
But Venessa’s father shared, “The baby will be a blessing to our family. I think our family needs someone like him. He will teach us so many things.”
Sharing This News With Her Husband Was Tough
Image courtesy: File Photo
It was very difficult for Venessa to process all the information. There was guilt, denial, sadness and anger.
The mum’s father offered to pick her husband up, who was returning home from a work trip. Luckily, her husband worked for her dad, so he could get a day off and be with his wife.
She revealed that telling her husband about the ultrasound over the phone was the toughest call of her life. She finally told him that their second child will have be born with congenital hand deformities.
There was a tinge of disbelief in her husband’s voice and he reacted, “What? No hands?’
Doctors Recommended Abortion
The mum was in no mood to accept defeat, she researched prosthetics for babies and looked for videos of other amputated kids. She could feel that there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Doctors referred the parents to the Vancouver Children’s Hospital. She was hopeful that medical experts would give her some positive news. However, it was the exact opposite. Doctors asked them to stop finding ways to save the baby, much to the parents’ surprise. Instead, they asked Venessa to undergo an abortion.
When Venessa and her husband shared that they wanted to keep the baby, the doctors instead of being sympathetic, were actually quite brutal.
They had to hear comments like, “Think about the quality of life the child would get, he will be born without hands.”
When she asked the geneticist about the possibility of her child using war amps or prosthetics, or other alternative solutions. However, since the baby missed both hands, the idea of prosthetics was feasible.
In fact, the doctors’ statements made the family feel guilty about wanting to keep the foetus in her womb. It led to self-doubt for Vanessa.
She even questioned whether she would be able to care for and nurture a baby with special needs.
Vanessa Decided To Give Birth In Spite Of Her Child’s Congenital Hand Deformities
Image courtesy: File Photo
On finding her husband and her entire family by her side, she gained the confidence to keep the baby. She refused amniocentesis, (procedure to take out a small sample of the amniotic fluid for testing) because there was a risk of miscarriage.
After leaving the hospital, she remembered hugging her husband and asking him why this happened to them.
It was her determination which made her keep the foetus in her womb. As weeks and months of her pregnancy passed, she stopped questioning herself. Whenever she felt paralysed with fear and uncertainty, she started thinking that the “Universe chose me, out of millions of mums to be Ivy’s mother.”
The mum says that Ivy’s birth worked as a cure for her soul and all her past wounds.
And all her self doubt about whether or not she will be a good mum to Ivy vanished the moment the little one came into their lives.
Once Ivy returned home, the little one grew rapidly achieving all her developmental milestones. Just a few days ago, she was rolling to and fro.
Vanessa says she wished to send a video of Ivy’s growth to the doctor who suggested aborting her foetus. “I wish the doctor could hear her magical laugh,” the mum added.
Vanessa’s Hope For Ivy Who Was Born With Congenital Hand Deformities
After Ivy’s birth, Venessa says she realised that the word “normal” is relative. She understood that we all are different in our own ways and that’s perfectly okay.
“Some are born with blue eyes, some with green, some have black hair and there are kids who are also born with blond hair. In a similar way, there are some who are born with hands and there are some who are born without it,” says the proud mum.
Venessa hopes to teach her child the same thing one day and give her a life that has meaning and value.
The mum is sure that Ivy will grow and adapt and will find her own way of doing things. The mum had her own inhibition of opening up and sharing her story. But now she just wants her child to receive love and support. And she knows that a large part of it will come from the online community.
She has connected with different organisations like The War Amps and Lucky Fin Project. Furthermore, she found that there are so many resources out there for kids with limb differences, contrary to what the doctors told Venessa.
She is also working to help normalise the differences so that the world can become a more inclusive place one day. Here’s more power and strength of the indomitable spirit of Venessa and others parents like her.
This article was republished from theAsianparent Indonesia with permission.
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