It started with 2 children fighting over a toy in a Chinese playground.
Then, their mummies decided to intervene and support their kids. Things truly turned ugly when the men – daddies and friends- all decided to enter the scene. By then, it was less of a playground and more of a boxing ring.
Chinese playground fight shocks the world
The incident apparently happened at a shopping centre in Shenzen, China, on October 7, and video clips were first posted on Youku.
As many as 5 men and 2 women are seen involved in the brawl.
PHOTO: SCREENGRAB SCMP VIDEO
One man is seen repeatedly picking up toys from the playground and throwing them.
At one point, two mums are seen dragging each other’s hair, and not letting go, while the fathers are raining punches and kicks at the other side of the playground. Children are seen crying.
Towards the end of the video, 4 men are fighting with a man in a purple shirt. He is seen hit by what looks like a stool, and looks like he got knocked out instantly.
PHOTO: SCREENGRAB SCMP VIDEO
Initial rumours claimed that he had been left seriously injured, and in a vegetative state, but Shenzhen police were quick to clarify online that he had only suffered minor injuries.
Police also revealed that the case was under investigation, and all the adults involved were “under police control.”
One big question that comes to mind after watching this video is, if “grown up” parents started behaving like this, what will kids do?
Meanwhile, here’s the video that made news:
Intervening in kids fights
As parents, it is painful to watch our children suffer hurt and rejection when they fight with their friends. You want to be their super hero and run to their rescue.
However, we may actually be doing more harm than good. We may unintentionally be communicating to our kids that they are incapable of handling their fights themselves.
Communicating effectively and resolving conflicts are life skills that they need to experience and learn, in order to be future ready. They improve the child’s self-esteem, and help them feel empowered.
Besides, children usually finish a fight much quicker if adults stay uninvolved.
So unless your child is being bullied, or his safety is at stake, it is best for parents to stay out of their kid’s fights.
Here’s what you can do instead:
- Empathise with your child and offer support: Show your child that you understand how he’s feeling. Your child feels comforted by the fact that he has been heard and understood.
It promotes trust and intimacy. It makes them feel safe and loved and not alone.
- Teach your child to empathise: Help your child understand how his friend might be feeling. Give examples of instances when he would have felt the same.
- Teach him to effectively resolve conflicts: Don’t treat your child like a victim, or he will learn to think of himself as a victim.
Explain how assertive communication works. For instance, it is better to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements.
Instead of saying “You left me out,” he can say, “I am upset because I wasn’t included in the game.”
- Teach him to apologise and admit mistakes: That there is no shame in owing up to your mistakes and saying sorry.
- Be a good role model: Ultimately, children see, children do. Children are like sponges who soak up what they see and experience.
The best way for our kids to develop healthy conflict resolution and coping skills is to walk the talk ourselves.
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Practise mindfulness
Studies have shown that teaching children mindfulness improves their mental health and well-being.
It also improves their attention span, helps them focus, and reduces stress. Such children are able to analyse and pause, before responding or reacting to situations, and are able to show compassion, and empathise with others.
Focussing on your breathing is a great way to learn mindfulness. Guide your child in using deep breathing to soothe his brain and body. This involves breathing in through the nose, down to the stomach and then out through the mouth.
Teach him to focus on the positive, and to be grateful.
Encourage your child to talk about his feelings- is he happy, sad, angry? Discuss what he can do to feel better. The child should realise that it is normal to feel those emotions, but that he is the boss. He can control his monkey mind.
(Source: South China Morning Post, Youku)