Mums-to-be, make sure your companion reads these tips on how to be the best birth partner for you.
Gone are the days when the men were expected to wait outside the delivery room, pacing back and forth until someone emerged with their baby. Plenty of men now join their partners in the delivery room to support and encourage her.
If your partner asks you to be there, it’s because she needs you. Remember that your role is important because you will be the only one in the room with a personal history with her. You’ll be the one who would best interpret her cues and relay her desires to the others. With that in mind, here are some things you need to take note of.
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What Does It Take to Be the Best Partner in Birth?
Birth partners, especially daddies, can help pregnant mums feel supported during their labour and make the experience positive. While mum and baby takes centre stage in this moment, a birth partner’s role is also challenging.
There are so many ways to support mum-to-be during labour and while giving birth. First off, begin by talking about their expectations towards you in advance.
You can ask your wife how she wants you to do the support game. This will help both of you in preparing ahead of the birth and you in gaining confidence as a partner.
Remember that being a birth partner does not start during labour and delivery. It’s best for mum and your unborn baby to have your support early on in the pregnancy.
Here are some tips to be on your A-game when it’s time to support your baby mama during labour and delivery.
10 Tips on Becoming the Best Partner in Birth Delivery
Image Source: iStock
1. Do your research.
You don’t want to be skimming through a birth manual right when your partner is in labour, so read up beforehand. Go to birthing classes with your partner and learn as much as you can about the process of labour and birth.
2. Cover all bases.
Your partner needs to focus on labour and birth, and the more you can take some things off her mind, the better. That means making sure the car is full of gas; knowing the fastest way to your birthing centre; ensuring that you have her labour bag and maternity notes; preparing enough food and drink, and so forth.
That being said, this is the summary of what you need to bring to the table (no pun intended) when active labour has started for the mum:
- hold your partner’s hand, wipe her face and give her sips of water
- massage her back and shoulders, and help her move about or change position
- comfort her as labour progresses and her contractions get stronger; you might even need to distract her if needed
- remind her how to use relaxation and breathing techniques, perhaps breathing with her if it helps
3. Stay calm.
Labour and childbirth is can take their toll on a woman, and though you may be feeling some stress as well, you must do everything you can to keep your nerves at bay.
Yes, you will see your partner in incredible amounts of pain. She will probably yell at you. There might be some complications. The best way to be supportive is to reassure your partner with your cool composure. You’ve got this.
4. Help create a tranquil environment for giving birth.
You can do this by dimming the lights, playing relaxing music, and keeping your voice low and soothing. She will need to focus, so try to keep the distractions at bay. Be as attentive as you can without being overbearing. Does she need water? Is she comfortable? Remember that she needs to stay upright, so let her lean on you for support.
Photo: J&B Birth Photography
5. Encourage and respect her.
Hold her hand and keep telling her how well she is doing, softly—the only one who should be yelling in the delivery room is the woman in labour. Your loving words will bolster her spirits and strengthen her. If complications arise, explain to her clearly and calmly what the staff has recommended and ask for her consent.
6. Provide emotional support.
As the mum-to-be starts labour and contraction is getting harder, you shall be her rock. You need to comfort and reassure her. Simple gestures like holding or squeezing her hand while giving positive words of encouragement will surely help her.
7. Listen to her.
Try to always listen to what she says and what she needs on that day. It is easier said than done, however, you always need to be attentive and intuitive. You need to listen to what she needs and when to do it.
Allow her to express herself while she is in pain. Also, be aware that her needs may change over time as her delivery progresses.
At times, your wife may shift from wanting a practical support or an emotional support. It may also be possible that she wants to be left alone to focus more, but stay there whenever she has to call you.
8. Be flexible.
It is always a requisite to be flexible at times like this. No labours are similar in terms of situation, although you can always prepare. You need to adapt to what is working or not during your wife’s turn.
It is possible that everything will happen according to the plan but sometimes there may be alterations. If this happens, tell your mum-to-be of what is happening and continue to reassure her. This will help you both to be in control of the situation.
9. Take care of yourself.
It’s easy to forget to eat or drink when your partner is in labour, but remember that you can’t take care of your partner if you are feeling unwell. Remember to wear comfortable clothing and shoes, and to eat and stay hydrated. Take short breaks when you need them.
10. Don’t let her give birth without a support person.
Trust us on this: even if your wife says she’ll be okay by herself while giving birth, she won’t. Maybe she just doesn’t want to put pressure on you, but every woman who goes through childbirth needs someone to be there for her. And being the immediate person your wife would expect to be there, do not let her give birth without anyone supporting her.
If you really can’t make it to the hospital, ask someone else- someone she’s comfortable with to be her support person. It can be your in-laws, relatives, or closest friends.
You do not need to perfectly do these tips but you are encouraged to. As the immediate support person and soon-to-be dad, it’s your job to make it as easy as possible for your partner while she’s in labour.
What to Pack Inside a Labour or Hospital Bag?
Image Source: iStock
When packing your wife’s hospital bag, you will encounter a lot of lists for soon-to-be mums. But how about yours as her support person? You also need a hospital bag to perform your role as her partner.
Listed below are the things you want to include in your hospital bag checklist as a birth partner during your child’s birth:
- Snacks
- Toiletries
- Medications
- Small bills and change
- Phones and other electronics
- Clothing
- Reusable bottle and beverages
- pillow and blanket
- Music
- massage oil
- a surprise push present for your wife (after giving birth)
Do You Need a ‘Doula’?
A doula provides professional labour assistance which includes physical and emotional support to you and your partner during your pregnancy, giving birth and the postpartum period.
Your doula might offer the following support:
- Attending physical comfort to the mum through techniques such as touch and massage and assistance with breathing
- Emotional reassurance and support, comfort, and encouragement
- Information about what to expect during labour and the postpartum phase, including explanations of every procedure
- Helps in lobbying procedures like communicating with the hospital staff
- Guidance and support for loved ones especially the children
- Assistance with breastfeeding
These are some of the duties and roles a doula must attend to as your labour assistant. So it is not a question if you need a doula or not.
Pregnancy, especially giving birth is an exciting yet challenging time, and no one wants to go through it alone. The key for soon-to-be daddies is to be on their partner’s side at all times, to provide the love and support that they need.
Image Source: iStock
Republished with permission from theAsianparent Philippines.
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