We know you mean well, but these words will not be helping an anxious mum. Find out what they are here.
As a mother, it can be tough to manage the stress of everyday life and all its associated responsibilities. Whether it's worrying about your children's safety, managing the home and finances, or simply feeling that you're not doing enough, anxiety is an all-too-real phenomenon for many mums.
It's important that we look out for one another and understand the difficulties that our fellow mums are facing. In this article, we'll be taking a look at five things that should be avoided when talking to an anxious mum. By understanding this, we can provide the support and kindness that all mothers need to feel secure and supported in their roles.
So, let's take a look at the five things that you should never say to an anxious mum.
"Just relax, it will all be okay."
This is a phrase often said with good intentions, but it can be unhelpful and dismissive to a mum already struggling with her anxiety. It can make her feel like her feelings are invalid and that she should just ‘get over it’, which is anything but helpful.
A better approach is to acknowledge her feelings and offer practical support. Help her find resources that can help her manage her anxiety, such as speaking to a professional or joining an online support group. Ultimately, being supportive and understanding goes a long way.
"You're too hard on yourself."
Anxiety can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk, so it can be tempting to try and reassure a mum in this situation by telling them they’re too hard on themselves. However, this kind of statement can come off as patronizing or dismissive and can make the mum feel like their feelings aren’t being taken seriously.
Instead, try suggesting concrete steps she can take to move out of the cycle of negative self-talk, such as taking time for self-care, engaging in activities that bring her joy, and talking to a professional.
"Calm down, this isn't a big deal."
It's important to validate a person's concerns and provide support rather than minimising them. When someone is feeling anxious, it's natural to want to downplay the issue in the hopes of calming them down. However, this can be ineffective in reducing their stress and may even make them feel invalidated or unheard.
Instead, try to listen and be understanding, provide reassurance, and offer helpful solutions.
"Stop worrying so much."
Anxious mothers often struggle to control their worrying and may feel overwhelmed by their anxious thoughts. While it is important to be mindful of worrying too much and to understand the underlying cause of it, telling a mother to simply “stop worrying” is not helpful or practical.
Instead, it is important to provide support and resources to help her manage her anxiety in a healthy and productive way.
"You're overreacting."
It can be hard to understand the intensity and complexity of a mum’s emotions, especially when she’s feeling anxious. While it may be tempting to try and talk her down, telling her she’s overreacting is never the right thing to do. It could make her feel invalidated and disrespected, or it could make her even more anxious.
Instead, focus on validating her emotions and suggesting ways to manage anxiety.
It can be hard to know what to say or do when you encounter a mum who is feeling anxious. In order to be a source of comfort and positivity, it’s important to be aware of the things you should avoid saying.
By staying mindful of the power of words and understanding the unique challenges that mums face, you can ensure the anxious mum in your life is supported and encouraged.
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