I don’t know whether husbands are from Mars and wives from Venus. But I do know that they are quite different and what works for the husband, doesn’t always work for the wife. All I know is, most often than not if I’m batting for the lightest shade of yellow, my husband would have already made up his mind about the darkest shade of green. Does that make us incompatible? No. It just makes us two people with different tastes.
Now, we can live with ‘different tastes’ for the rest of our lives, oh yay! However, there still are things which we wish the husband would keep in mind. And not all of these are about differing points of view. These are just some basic, harmless, inexpensive (rather ‘free’) things which we wish the man of the house would remember and act upon. For me, more than the tangible things, it’s the little things I wish he’d say to me, which would make my day, week, and perhaps even a month (unless he decides to be pretty regular about it. In that case, we have a keeper in hand, ladies!). Here are some of them:
1. “Call me anytime!”
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Most often I don’t call you to check what time you will be home to do the dishes. You don’t even do the dishes. It’s usually when I’m at my wits end with the daughter and the dog and the dust that never seems to want to leave. All I want is a listening ear, who has lived with the said daughter, dog and dust, who’d know how trying all three can be.
So, instead of shushing me with ‘I’m at work. Can we do this later?’, how about saying, “It’s okay. I understand. Call me whenever you feel like”? Trust me, I will not call you whenever I feel like it. I know and understand that you are busy at work. But please know and understand that I too am busy and if I’ve called, I must have called for a reason.
2. “Let’s go on a vacation minus the kids. I will plan.”
Now, this statement is beyond awesome on various levels. First, you even considered the fact that perhaps we need to take a break. You follow it up with the crucial ‘no-kids’ suggestion. You top it up with ‘planning it yourself’ bit. Whoa! It has the magical combination of all the right words. And it would work wonders for our 10-year-old marriage too!
3. “Go out for that night out with friends. I will manage the human child and the dog child.”
I miss meeting my friends for coffee or joining them for a night out. But then, that has never been a feasible option for me. The fact that you have willingly offered to grab the ‘kids’ off my hair (I’m not going to say this again, but just being crazily in love with them doesn’t make me immune to my own needs), thereby letting me enjoy a night of peace without constantly worrying about the cubs, that’s big!
4. “Your days are so jam-packed. Let me share some of the chores!”
The fact that you noticed my days are jam-packed will have me reeling over. To top it, you considered sharing the chores with me? *Choked*! That you aren’t a male chauvinist, I always knew. However, actually noticing my everyday struggle of managing home, child, and work makes me feel that you acknowledge what I do.
5. “You are amazing!”
Husband regrets divorce, writing how he should have held on and fought. If he did, he would not have lost his true love…
I know I am amazing. I know I’m a superwoman. But, having the man I love and married say that to me gives me a different high. It doesn’t matter how confident and self-assured the woman is, a compliment of this sort coming from the man in her life, is something else.
Fairly simple ‘wants’ these, right? And nothing outrageous about them either. So why don’t you up your understanding-husband quotient by trying one of these (or better, all of these) on your wife? You will have one smug wife by your side for the rest of your life!
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