While there is a myriad of important qualities all married people want their partners to display, respect is among the most important. Without any semblance of mutual respect, marriages are sure to suffer. As a result, husbands and wives should do their best to make sure that they truly respect their significant others. Moreover, they should strive to demonstrate that respect by all means possible.
The one to whom you promised yourself should be everything you value in a partner. They should support your decisions, they should help shoulder the load of responsibility, and they should respect your judgments and opinions. If your partner displays any of the following 5 qualities, it’s time to straighten them out before it’s too late! You can improve your marriage, and you can lead a happier married life!
Let’s take a look at the list:
1. They show up unannounced
Not to be confused with a playful surprise, because every now and then mixing it up is cute, and fun. To be more clear, an example of this bad quality in a partner would be more like him/her showing up and distracting you when you’ve clearly got a lot on your plate. If your partner is constantly coming out of the woodwork at inappropriate times, it could be a sign that they don’t value your time and space. It could be a sign that they find their time and space more important and that no matter what you’re doing, you should drop it and focus on them. The Frisky reports, “if he or she shows up at your work, class, or home unannounced and uninvited, causing a scene, they don’t respect you.”
2. They use “gaslighting” techniques
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“Gaslighting,” as it is defined by Your Tango, “is a phrase assigned to an emotional abuse technique that has one partner convincing the other that reality is an illusion. If your partner is denying they said and did things or blaming you for saying and doing things you didn’t, it’s abusive.”
In other words, if whenever a situation arises (no matter how big or small), your partner tries to shift blame, deny responsibility, or dismiss the problem as if it never happened, they’re “gaslighting” and it needs to stop! Don’t let them treat your feelings, psyche, and well-being as if they’re unimportant! Demand their respect!
3. They treat sex as a transaction
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Sex is never something that should be treated as an expectation or a trade-off. The moment someone trades sex for something else, all forms of mutual respect are completely devalued if not thrown out the door completely. Sex, as many respecting individuals know, is not something that should be used as a currency or a form of payment. No matter how close, or intimate you are with your partner, you shouldn’t play around with the idea of using your body as a means of trade. If, let’s say, you promise your husband or wife a “special treat” for completing a task, you’re debasing your sexuality and respect with your partner, no matter how harmless you think it may be.
4. They don’t show that they’re proud of you
In life, there are some people whose respect you have to earn. For example, your boss, your peers, your teachers. One person whose respect you shouldn’t have to earn at this late stage in the game is your partner. You should hear terms of encouragement like, “I’m proud of you” early and often in your relationship. Bustle says that when your partner is proud of you and proud to be with you, there’s mutual respect for one another. Without that mutual respect, it’s rather evident that your partner doesn’t value your worth or value.
5. They display a refusal to compromise/negotiate
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The Centers for Family Change claims, “Respect is established when you consistently: consider and value the feelings and opinions of your partner; talk to and treat your partner in ways that you would want to be treated, and compromise and negotiate with your partner.”
When you promised yourselves to each other, you became a team. As part of a team, you must compromise and meet each other in the middle from time to time. If one side of your team is constantly refusing to meet each other on common grounds, it may be a huge indication that they don’t value your thoughts and opinions. Which, as you can imagine, is an intolerable characteristic in someone with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life.
This article was based on a post published by Cheat Sheet