Let’s face it when our sex lives become less va va voom we automatically tend to pass the blame onto the guys! We complain about how they don’t understand our bodies or know what turns us on.
Sure, the guys make their share of blunders in bed, but that is another topic of the discussion entirely. But as the saying goes –it takes two to tango! So let us focus on what we can do better and – brace yourself – what you may be doing wrong.
Have a look at our list of errors you might be making in bed. If you are guilty of these, just address the issue and you just might experience those fireworks you were missing all this while!
1. It’s okay to make the first move
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We tend to feel like it won’t be ladylike if we initiate sex. Most guys feel like they are always the initiators and get disheartened when they are turned down. So if you are feeling naughty, communicate your feelings to your man without feeling ashamed or better yet, lead him to the bedroom by pulling his tie and pin him down to the bed.
2. Believing he’s always up for sex
Adult men are quite different from when they were teenagers. So don’t assume they are always up for sex. Anxieties over everyday life could get to them as well. Things like paying the bills and their work could be just some of the anxieties they face. Many women find this difficult to believe – but it’s true! If your man is preoccupied and not up for sex, don’t take it personally, be patient and understanding.
3. Freaking out when he suggests something new
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Automatically refusing something because it’s different is a huge turn-off. Just because your husband suggests you try something new, it doesn’t mean he’s unhappy in your marriage. After a while of being together, couples should shake things up and try something new. Try being open-minded, If he wants to have sex while watching porn, try it a few times. Compromise; agree so long as you get to choose the porn. If what he suggests offends you, then you have to communicate that to him. Suggest something else you can try instead.
4. Not giving directions
We all know that guys are notoriously bad when it comes to navigating without a map right? Then why do we assume that keeping our mouths shut during sex will get us to where we want to go? We need to communicate while having sex and be specific!!
5. ‘Grinning and bearing’
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You don’t have to ‘put up’ with anything in bed. If your guy is doing something that just turns you off, tell him!! Suggest something else he can do instead.
6. Trading in sexy wife for Mummy
Once in bed, we forget that we are sexy women and continue to be on ‘mummy mode’. The truth is, the hot woman your hubby married was sure more fun in bed than mummy. So once the kids get to bed put your mummy personality and clothes to bed and channel your inner vixen!
7. Worrying about what you look like
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The moment we get naked, we get self-conscious! We like to try new positions but cringe at the thought of how we may look doing it. The truth is our guys don’t care as much about HOW we look like naked; they are appreciative that we ARE naked! So stop being insecure and own your body!
8. Unresponsiveness in bed
Sex with a corpse can’t be that much of fun ha? Don’t just lie there and wait for it to finish. Participate, get involved, and move around. Get on top every once in a while, especially if you feel that he isn’t doing it right. Take control!
9. Not being spontaneous
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When we have a couple of kids, us mums tend to get super organised and start scheduling and scheduling. After the kids go to bed, throw away your time table and be spontaneous. This may be shocking to many of you, but sex OUTSIDE the bedroom can be fun too! So by spontaneous we mean be open to anything without having preconceived notions about how things should be.
10. Clean up and dress up
Yes, who has time to shave or groom yourself, but allowing your crotch and legs to resemble the Amazon is off-putting. You don’t have to go bare, but you should definitely be trimmed and your legs should be fuzz-free – no excuses!
11. Withholding Oral sex
Many women avoid this subject completely. If you are not up for going down on your man, don’t leave him in the dark, communicate your feelings to him. Together you can reach a compromise.