When you settle down with your partner and have kids, there are a ton of things that change. Among those things that change is your relationship. And, while it’s good to adjust and evolve to accommodate and cater to your kids’ development, should you be willing to let your marriage go off track?
After all, it’s your relationship with your partner that is at the center of the family. Your marriage is the glue that holds your loving family together, and it should never be downplayed.
Nowadays, there’s an abundance of parenting terms and ideas (e.g. “helicopter mom”) that suggest that putting your kids above all is the best way to raise your youngsters. And, we’re not saying it’s wrong to put your kids first, but it’s important to understand the foundation of your family: your marriage.
Unfortunately, the more parents get acclimated with balancing their responsibilities as parents, work life, and so on, they often let their marriage and relationship with their partner get off-center. That’s why it’s important to do all you can to try to get your relationship re-centered.
Sure, you could take my word as to why it’s important to re-center your family’s core…or you could heed the words of these 10 parents and why/how they got re-centered for the benefit of their family!
Check out what these 10 parents/spouses had to say about getting re-centered–how they did it, and why!
#1
“After six months of falling asleep as soon as we got in bed, we started going to bed 30 minutes earlier. Basically, we set our own bedtime and made sure that the last 30 minutes of the day are ours to talk and reconnect.” — Sara
#2
“No calling each other ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy.’ It creeps me out when friends do it and I told my husband before the baby was born that if he ever wanted to have sex again he’d better not call me ‘Mommy.’” — Theresa
#3
“We don’t let being tired become an excuse for not having sex.” — Brenda
#4
“We keep our marriage at the center of the family by remembering all of the special events, not just our wedding anniversary, but the anniversary of when we first met and our first date, our engagement, all of those important days that were just the two of us. And we talk about them with our kids, who have a hard time believing Mom and Dad had a life before they came along. We laugh about it, but I think it helps us remember who we were before they came along, too.” — Mickey
#5
“We take turns surprising each other with concert or theater tickets every few months. It’s about the only time we get to go out alone and it’s nice to have something to look forward to.” — Laurel
#6
“We read the same books. It gives us something to talk about besides the kids.” — Adam
#7
“Every other Friday night or so, we stay up really late—2 or 3 a.m.—like we used to when we were dating. We watch old movies, eat junk food, fool around, talk about the child-free days. It seems like it would be awful the next day, but we just have a low key Saturday and maybe one of us will sleep in and the other will take a nap in the afternoon. It’s worth it for that alone time and putting ourselves first for a few hours.” — Tanya
#8
“We go to the Y, put the baby in their childcare center, and work out together. It helps burn off the stress of the week and keeps us in shape, but the best part is we’re doing something together. — Martin
#9
“Texts. Lots and lots of texts. We text all the time. Sometimes, it’s the only conversations we have until late at night, but we both know what’s going on with each other.” — Dina
#10
“Once or twice a week in the late afternoon, when the baby and toddler are cranky, we throw them in the car and go for a long drive. They’ll both fall asleep within a few minutes and that gives me and my wife a little mini-date. It’s not much, maybe an hour or two hours, if we’re lucky, but we’ll play the music we like, stop at a drive-thru and get coffee or a milkshake and just laugh and talk like we used to before the kids came along.” — Tim
The testimonies in this article were originally shared by Mom.Me
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