Why do men only hold their own babies?

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Read on to find out why men prefer to only hold their own offspring.

A close mate of mine became a father two months before Levi, my son, was born. We’d see each other very often – at least twice a week. When his daughter was born I was elated for him and his wife. Michele and I offered them a congratulatory, bought the girl some prezzies along with a bouquet of flowers and were glad both mother and baby were fine.

I even took the starving father – who hadn’t eaten the whole day, what with the delivery of his child – to a ‘drive thru’ McDonald’s for dinner.

Why do men only hold their own babies?

We spent several hours in the ward, checking in baby, talking about the birth and the events leading up to it. Other friends came to visit, left gifts whilst we lingered on until visiting hours were over. All very exciting, as you can imagine.

The women who came and went, all had a cuddle with the newborn girl. I noticed, however, that the husbands were content standing on sidelines merely offering a finger to the newborn’s cheek. Single men, too, stood by the baby muttering comments regarding baby’s resemblance to either Mum or Dad.

I, too, father-to-be, was conveniently lodged in one of the couches provided for most of the duration, offering to fetch something for the new Mum or Dad, but not much else.

If there’s a common theme here, it’s this: men don’t seem to enjoy holding babies that don’t belong to them.

Men are uncomplicated

Oh yes, it’s true! Men don’t sit around in cafes sipping iced lattes, gossiping about other women while painting our nails. Nor do we bid each other good bye with a cheek-to-cheek kiss. Men certainly don’t like talking about how their bodies are changing, comparing how the uglification of their bosoms are impairing their ability to fit into their previously figure-hugging clothes nor do we cancel swim classes because it’s someone’s time of the month.

Men who gather, if at all, are more likely to have left their wives at home to bond with children while they knock back a couple of cold ones at the local pub. Conversation revolving around their kids is likely to sound something like:

“How’s Jimbo?”

“Yeah, he’s alright. How’s your girl?”

“Yeah she’s alright. Oh c’mon, pass that ball already!”

“GOAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!”

Men don’t complicate conversation. In fact, the general IQ of a male bonding session dips 10% as any attempt to elaborate on the subject matter is drowned out by sports, work, the fitness of a passing woman, cars or why Manchester United really is a glorified attempt of a football club.

Head on over to the next page to find out why men act they way they do!

For Dad Only