What new parents argue about

lead image

New parents may encounter many arguments after the arrival of their new baby. This is not uncommon because so many things change in the dynamics of the relationship. Find out the common pitfalls and how to quit those arguments.


Read about new parents and what ignites their arguments

Read about new parents and their arguments

The joy and elation of giving birth and bringing your new baby home to be a part of your family has come and gone. In its place is reality and…what’s that? Bickering? You and your spouse don’t see eye to eye on everything about your baby? Imagine that!

Why new parents have so many arguments

Why new parents argue can usually be narrowed down to one word…fatigue. Lack of sleep, the disruption (no matter how welcome) of life as you knew it and the uncertainties that come with being a new parent all tend to boil up and over.

What new parents argue about

Lots of things-things that don’t really matter. New parents argue about…

  1. Whether the baby is too hot or cold
  2. If the diaper is on correctly
  3. If the other parent is holding them correctly
  4. Whether or not to let him/her sleep through a feeding
  5. Why baby is crying
  6. How much is too much when it comes to holding the baby
  7. Whose turn it is to get up with the baby
  8. Whether or not to take baby out in public yet
  9. How much time Grandma should spend with the baby
  10. Whatever else they can come up with to argue about

What makes these “new parents” arguments so senseless

When is the last time you saw a toddler or young child suffering the ill effects of having a diaper put on less than perfectly? And when is the last time you saw a teenager who didn’t make the team or ace a test because they were or weren’t rocked to sleep every night?

Exactly. You can’t tell. And do you want to know why? It’s because all those little things that seem so huge during the first weeks and months of parenthood don’t matter. What matters is that you love your baby, are attentive to his/her needs and keep them fed, comfortable, safe and dry.

How to quit those darn arguments

The best way to avoid these arguments is to realize before the baby comes that the possibility for playing this tug of war is there. By doing so you can work out a plan of who does what, when and leave the how to whoever is taking care of the particular matter. Think about it…would the person you are committed to loving for the rest of your life…the one who made this incredible baby with you…would they do anything to bring harm to your child? Of course not! So relax.

And if you didn’t work out a plan pre-baby or if your plan has run amuck, take a few deep breathes, leave the baby with Grandma for a few hours, take a well-deserved nap and come up with a new plan. Come up with a plan that gives each of you the grace to love, nurture and care for your baby. Leave room for a few bobbles, too, because there will be some.

New parents…just wait…

 In a few months you’ll both look back on this time and laugh–wondering why you ever got so bent out of shape over nothing. In fact, by the time baby #2 comes around, you’ll both be happy you remember to diaper the baby…much less worry about how perfectly the diaper is on.

Related: Financial checklist for new parents

Related: Top 10 surprises for new parents

Related: 5 baby care tips and tricks you might not know

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android, now!

Written by

Darla Noble