“I wasn’t happy until I became more than just a mum”: One mum’s struggle with at-home parenting

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"I was bitter as a stay-at-home mum. I loved my child so intensely, but struggled to enjoy myself..."

The transition of being a career oriented individual to a stay-at-home parent can be a daunting task. In fact, some parents opt out of transitioning all together and strive to find a proper balance of work and family life. For those who try to adjust to the wide array of changes that come with transitioning to an at-home parent, the struggle is palpable and often one not taken lightly.

Sure, both sides of the spectrum offer an assortment of benefits for both you and your family. Moreover, neither side of the spectrum is better than the other. It all boils down to what works best for you and your family. Sometimes it’s all about timing and what’s required of you as a parent at that point in time. Whether you’re asked to put your career goals on hold, or asked to give up at-home parenting, parents will always do whatever’s asked of them for the better of their family.

While there’s no denying that parents heed the call when the time comes, some truly do struggle to assimilate to just one side of the spectrum. Amanda Elder, a former teacher turned at-home mum, is among the miscellany of parents who struggle to adjust.

Courtesy: Stay-at-Home Panda

Courtesy: Stay-at-Home Panda

In a recent entry on The Huffington Post, Elder shares her intense struggle to become a simple at-home mother. In her intriguing post, she writes, “I was bitter as a stay-at-home mum. I loved my child so intensely, but struggled to enjoy myself…”

“I wanted to know I was still a meaningful person outside of motherhood,” she adds later in her publication.

Clearly adjusting to one side of the coin was something that she hadn’t prepared for, and as a result, it made it difficult for her to assimilate. At times, she even felt incomplete. But, as time pressed forward she discovered the power and benefits behind being an at-home parent. While she certainly won’t ever live the life she had before birthing her children, she’s found new ways to seek and define her individuality that go far beyond being a typical at-home mum.

Check out her awesome and inspiring piece, and let us know if any of you at-home mummies or daddies can relate to Elder’s post!

As my husband was leaving for work today, the baby was sleeping, our preschooler was playing, and I was sitting down to write. Jokingly he said, “Alright, enjoy your day of leisure while I’m off slaving.” I looked at him and said, “I really do have the best life.” Then we took a moment to reflect on the past times he told me, with defeat, that I just couldn’t be pleased. It was true ― I was bitter as a stay-at-home mum. I loved my child so intensely, but struggled to enjoy myself. I tried to talk myself into feeling grateful ―I knew I should have been, but I just wasn’t.

When our first baby was born, I quit my job. Staying home with the kids is not something I ever wanted to do. I enjoyed being a working woman. However, my husband was in medical school, and it was certain we’d be moving around for the next few years. It was simply the practical choice, one I saw as a sacrifice.

Can you relate to Elder’s struggle to becoming an at-home mummy? Read more of her journey by visiting the next page!

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