7 things your foreign domestic helper wants you to know

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Real-life foreign domestic workers share what they feel they can't tell their employers directly. Check it out!

Stereotypically, an employer’s relationship with the family’s foreign domestic helper can be tense—especially during the first few weeks of settling in. You have two people who barely know each other, and who now have to live together, albeit with different habits and in different ways.

Add in the possibility that your maid may find it difficult to express herself when an issue arises whether out of respect, frustration or fear, or all of the above. And so you’ve got the makings of one stressful family under one roof.

So we asked some real-life helpers to frankly tell us what they feel they can’t tell their employers, and here’s an interesting snippet of their thoughts: 

1. She is not your previous foreign domestic helper

There are many reasons why employers choose to change their helpers. Once that decision has been made however, it is only fair to focus on working on the new relationship with your new helper.

It is inevitable to look back and think about how your previous helper could handle certain situations better than the current. But you need to provide that same acceptance to your new helper as when your previous helper first came. She is an entirely different person, with a different background, who has a different way of doing things with a different set of shortcomings and capabilities altogether.

Smile, and enjoy the ride of meeting someone new. Training is indeed part of the whole process whilst making such comparisons will only get the working relationship off to a tense start. 

2. She has a family too

Whether your foreign domestic helper is single, married, separated, widowed or a divorcee, she ultimately has a loved one waiting back home to hear from her. And there are ways we can help her stay connected. One simple issue is handphone safe-keeping found by some employers to be ideal, as long as your helper is agreeable.

Some employers feel that this provides them a peace of mind as it lessens the influence of the “outside world” over their helpers, and thus minimizes the chances of them misbehaving or having the wrong ideas. This does serve as a good deterrence in most cases. However, do remember to allow them a call back at least once or twice a month as their families are also waiting to hear from them.

Sometimes, when she receives news from her family, she may also react and will need your advice or encouragement. Another scenario I’ve witnessed where helpers get incentivised in their work is how their families back home are thankful whenever employers assist their FDWs to regularly remit some money home.

3. Your family may not be perfect, but she loves your family anyway

Now, this response from one of the foreign domestic helper interviewees certainly came as a refreshing and heart-warming one to me. Being the person who is home most of the time, your maid always notices what is happening and definitely does know a little something about your family. But she doesn’t think the worst of it, and has instead, grown attached to your family members!

Four more things that your foreign domestic worker wants you to know… on the next page!

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