My baby was born dead... and came back to life

Singaporean mum Jie'er shares her labour story with theAsianparent.com

I am a single mum, and my biggest gift was my son, my everything. The day I was sent to the delivery suite was a joy to me, with my mum beside me.

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I had to deliver my boy at 36 weeks, due to my boy being too big. I've also got diabetes and high blood pressure so it was not good for my baby to stay inside of me any longer. I wasn't intending to go for epidural, as I wanted to go through what my mum has been through - natural birth. The pain however, was unbearable and it made me so tired. I couldn't scream or cry, neither did I get to sleep at all too as the doctor kept checking on me the whole night. My water-bag was eventually burst by the doctor in the middle of the night.

After that, I endured for around an hour before informing the doctor that I couldn't endure any longer. I wanted to sleep but with the pain I couldn't. I also had no energy left for later - so how do I push my baby out? I then took the epidural, and dozed off immediately after the epidural was injected. When I woke up, it was already morning at 11plus am, and the midwife came in.

Delivery

I was very excited and energetic after the sleep. 'This is it! I'm seeing my baby!' I thought to myself. I kept pushing and pushing.  After around an hour, my baby's big head could finally be seen. 'Yeah!!!' was all I thought, but the nightmare begins. The midwife cut my wound and pulled but my baby could not come out, and I heard peepeepee (effects of epidural were over). I was shocked and kept asking my mum to save me. I no longer felt the pain.  I just felt sleepy again. My baby's head was out but due to his shoulder being too wide, he was stuck inside. My mum was panicking, as she held onto my hand and urged me not to sleep.

A close shave

Only I could save my baby now.  I kept pushing as I heard the midwife shout "Help, anybody help!". By then, nearly 10 doctors (my mum told me) rushed in. It was chaotic as one of them pushed my bed down leading to me lying 45degree head downward, while another one pushed my tummy. One of the doctors was also encouraging me by my side, 'Keep pushing, don't give up!'. Then all of a sudden, I heard a voice say: "Turn her to the side now", everyone had to help the 95kg me to turn on my side. The same doctor then instructed, "Now mummy, I want you to use all your strength to push when I count to 3... And 1, 2, 3..."

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My baby flew out like a rage doll, lifeless.  My mum cried as she thought the baby was gone and she don't dare to tell me when I kept asking her.

Miracles do happen!

After a few minutes, I finally heard his 1st cry! He came out with no heartbeat, breathless and his body was like a dead person - purple blue, but the doctors saved him.  My baby came back alive! My mum told me that when she heard the baby cry, she went to look and told me he was an angel because he was alive, fair skin with very chubby rosy cheek (he was nearly 4+kg).  Even the doctors all crowded around my baby just to pinch his super chubby cheek!

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I was crying. I have never cried before when I am happy but this is my 1st ever tears of joy. By then, I was actually in a critical stage too - my face turned purple blue and I kept drifting off into sleep.  My mum cried, afraid she will lose both her daughter and grandchild in a day

Overwhelming gratitude

I love my mum so much. She must have been really freaked out that day. After the delivery, she went home that night and packed necessities for my hospital stay. She cried again when she called me and said that I had given her the best gift she ever had- her grandson. She expressed her thanks for the doctor who suggested to push me to my side so my baby boy could come out in time.  If not for this doctor, my mum said she will be packing the clothes to burn...

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Sometimes I still have flashbacks to that day of labour, but if you let me choose between c-section or natural, I will still choose natural birth. I used my life to fight for my child's life. And I regret I didn't take care of my body when pregnant - eating too much and putting my baby at risk.  When my baby's blood test came out diabetes negative, I was really happy and felt lucky.  Otherwise, I will never forgive myself for causing so much pain to my boy.  As of, 4th of April I thank God every year for my precious gift!