My husband has a mistress... and it's me
Would you play mistress to your own husband?
As a married woman, I would never have given much thought when asked the question "How to be a mistress to your husband?" My immediate response is why would I want to be when I'm already his wife? And then something clicked when I read journalist and best-selling author Jo Piazza's article on secrets of a happy and fulfilling marriage in Women's Health.
How to Be a Mistress to Your Husband and Inject Excitement into Your Marriage
At first, I didn't understand why this would be the top advice to give out to women in marriages that were starting to lose their sparkle.
But as I read on I began to understand. A mistress is a married man's secret fantasy. She is sexy, confident and beautiful. She makes him feel manly and confident. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't you embody all these things that will make your man go crazy for you all over again?
Here's how to do this:
#1 Think Confidence
Most times, we are our biggest critics. We whine about our muffin tops, whinge about growing old, compare ourselves with other people. We're hardly comfortable in our own skin.
But the trick is to love yourself first, then your husband will love you. Be comfortable in your own skin and he will be comfortable too.
Think about how to be a mistress to your husband... I'm sure mistresses never complain about their expanding waistline. In fact, I think, quite the opposite. Internalise that you are beautiful, confident and sexy and it will radiate in every move you make. How can your husband possibly ignore such a stunning version of you?
#2 An Air of Mystery
Have you gotten so comfortable that you can share a bathroom? Well, stop it and start allowing yourself some private moments to maintain an air of mystery in your marriage. Chuck out your comfy boxers and lounge pants — never let your husband catch you in them again.
Don't let him think that the relationship is just comfortable. How to be a mistress to your husband and excite him to no end? How about surprising him by parading some sexy lingerie while getting dressed? Who cares if you're going to be a little late for dinner...
#3 How to Be a Mistress to Your Husband? Leave the Nagging to His Co-Workers
Talk to your husband about interesting and engaging things. Don’t pick small fights, don’t discuss the small things, don't do the blame game. Don't talk about work and don't talk about all the pending things at home. I'm sure mistresses would never bring up such topics.
Above all, don't be boring and don't complain about your day. Instead, set aside your phone, give him your full attention. Keep it interesting and talk about things that fascinate both of you. Express joy when you've had a great time over dinner instead of worrying how fat all the calories are going to make you. Why ruin a perfectly good night?
#4 Don't Treat Your Spouse Like a Punching Bag
We might not catch ourselves doing it, but in actual fact, we tend to treat our spouses like punching bags. For many of us, our husbands are a place to offload all our baggage.
On bad days we make them listen to our monologue of complaints. And just admit it, women always have something to complain about. Sometimes, we even blame them for things that are not their fault. Don't do this, or stop doing it.
How to Be a Mistress to Your Husband, You Ask?
Yes, try it and make a conscious effort to stick to it. Catch yourself each time and think before you speak. Try replacing your complaints with a question about his day instead.
Remember to give nagging a rest even if it feels like a habitual thing to do. Trust me, both of you might actually feel a little lighter. Bring back the woman you once were, be carefree and love yourself.
Show him a confident you, a happier you and you might start to notice a new sparkle in his eyes and some definite excitement and improvement in bed!