Sex after kids: 5 ways to rekindle the romance after having kids

This is a very common problem. Most couples find their sexual dynamics disrupted when there are children in the home. Lack of privacy and fatigue from the hectic demands of family life can easily lead to communication breakdown.

However, it's important not to let this situation continue. If left unattended, it can easily become a threat to the stability of your marriage. A healthy sex life gives strength and protection to the marital relationship, so you need to find ways to be intentional in nurturing sexual intimacy.

So, what can you do if having kids in the house is putting a damper on your sex life?

Click 'Next' to check out five suggestions to rekindle the romance in your marriage.

1. Clarify the issue

Take the initiative to set aside time to discuss the situation with your spouse. Find a time and setting that lends itself to uninterrupted conversation. Put your thoughts on paper before the conversation — these notes can serve as a script or be given to your spouse to read. As you talk, remember to be sensitive and respect your spouse's point of view. Remember to consistently show love and respect to your spouse as you share your thoughts.

2. Describe the factors leading to your present outlook

You may not share your spouse's fear of being heard during lovemaking. Your spouse, on the other hand, may not understand how you can make light of his or her anxiety. Reveal your thoughts and feelings to one another, and try to discover the factors that have shaped your spouse's unique perspective.

3. Frankly discuss sexual expectations and desires

The two of you probably differ in your expectations about things like sexual frequency and technique. If you thought having children wouldn't affect your sex life, say so. If you assumed you'd never have intercourse again after the kids arrived, let your spouse know. Your objective is to seek a common ground, a place where each of you is comfortable.

4. Be open to novel solutions

If your spouse is concerned about privacy, explore the possibility of installing locks or rigging music or white noise to muffle sounds emanating from the bedroom. Baby monitors can be used to alert parents in the event of an emergency. Stay flexible until you've found a plan that works.

5. Prepare a response to your children's questions

Despite efforts to maintain the privacy of the sex act, unanticipated interruptions may occur. Protecting innocence takes precedence over completion of intercourse, so be ready to offer answers as needed.

Children's curiosity is best addressed with a confident reply in mutually agreed upon terminology like this: "After all these years, we still love each other and sometimes get excited to spend time together." If your kids have seen the two of you holding hands, kissing and going out on dates, they're probably comfortable with the idea of parental closeness.

Got other suggestions to rekindle the romance after having kids?

Written by

Focus On The Family

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