Spouse first, kids second

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Many couples today are heading towards a crisis by giving all their attention to their kids. Many parents believe that if they give their kids more attention, they will grow up to be better individuals.

Ahh, the perrenial debate! Who should be your priority, your spouse or your kids?

According to David Cole, family coach and author of “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First”, many couples today are heading towards a crisis by directing all their attention to their kids. Many parents believe that if they give their kids most of their attention, their children will grow up to be better individuals. While this probably does hold true, the consequence of such actions might do the reverse, affecting the children due to an unhappy marriage.

Related: Making time for your family

When helping couples with marital problems, Cole reminds them that they married their spouses not their children. He advises them to evaluate their priorities and start working on their relationship. He reveals that couples often use their kids as a “shield” from their spouses. When something goes wrong within a marriage, parents have the tendency to pour all their energy into parenting so they can avoid dealing with their marital issues. It brings to mind a quote from child psychology.

Related: How to speak the language of love in your marriage

In short, one of the best things that parents can do for their kids is to tend to their marriage. When problems or conflicts arise, don’t run away from them. Instead, deal with them right away. When kids see that their parents share a good relationship, they feel secure and will have less emotional baggage. So start spending more time with each other. (Remember, you need to be proactive in penning time for each other, because nothing will happen if you don’t make plans).

Related: 5 reasons your child may resent you

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