Putting your child under too much pressure can stop them from learning

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It's an all too common scenario, a parent pressuring their child to get high grades and then wondering why their child suddenly loses their passion for learning. "Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning" Jessica Lahey, a teacher, shares one of the conversations she

It's an all too common scenario, a parent pressuring their child to get high grades and then wondering why their child suddenly loses their passion for learning.

"Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning"

Jessica Lahey, a teacher, shares one of the conversations she had with a mother during a parent-teacher conference.

The mom tells her, "Marianna’s grades are fine; I’m not worried about that, but she just doesn’t seem to love learning anymore."

And Jessica agrees with what the mother has said. She shares, "I’m torn between my responsibility to help Marianna and the knowledge that what I have to say is a truth I’m not sure this mother is ready to hear."

She then adds, "The truth—for this parent and so many others—is this: Her child has sacrificed her natural curiosity and love of learning at the altar of achievement, and it’s our fault."

"Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning."

We have to rethink what we want out of our kids

Having high grades is important, that much is true. However, have we ever stopped and thought about what we want for our kids beyond having high grades?

As parents, we have to rethink what we want out of our kids. A research done on German students from 2002-2007 found that when parents were pushing their kids to achieve, they did their best to meet their parents 'expectations. However, when the expectations exceeded their potential, the students did worse.

This is why we have to understand that our kids do have different intelligence levels, and should not be judged by how good their grades are. A child that has low grades in science or math could be an amazing writer or artist. A student with average grades in history but good in sports could be an olympian in the making.

It's good to expect things out of our kids, but we have to be realistic in our expectations and we also need to take the time to know what skills and talents our kids excel in.

Go to the next page to learn more about building a love of learning in your kids.

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