Help! My kid is misbehaving on purpose!
What should we, as parents, do when our child deliberately says or does the opposite when we try to reason with him especially after he has done something naughty? Find out here.
Mum Needs Help: Our 4 year old son likes to irritate us. He will deliberately say or do the opposite when we try to reason with him especially after he has done something naughty. At times, he will just ignore us by walking away. How do we discipline him? We have tried to be soft with him but sometimes he really tests our patience.
Yuni Lie: Oh dear... My daughter also did exactly the same.. Any advice on how to handle them?
Haslina Ishak: I like to watch Nanny 911 on TV7 in Malaysia. It really teach us how to handle naughty kids. And it is always starts with dad leaving all the responsiblity to mum. Kids need attention and throw vulger words to mum, spit on mum. Nanny 911 will come and observe the situation and comment. You should watch it.
Khayllis Adams: Either you ignore him or give a stern warning or mean what you going to do to him or her like taking away their best toys or games, or not bringing them for their weekend outing.
Anders Kleppe: This kind of behaviour might be a signal that he is struggling with something he don't want to talk about. Spend the time needed to listen to him. Even the words between the spoken words. Treat him with respect and do not try to be the boss. Be an equal.
Khayllis Adams: Thats what I've done to my 'lil son. they will really test ur patience so do what they do to you then ask them how they feel and how you feel about the whole thing.
Shirley Soh Sally: Time out is the best. Use awards system and remove his rewards or his toys if he misbehave. Make sure your punishment and rewards must be consistent no matter where you are such as in the public or with the grandparents. Both me and my hubby always mean biz if my sons misbehave-NO TV-off to bed..hehe..abit harsh but it works
Rebecca 静敏: Hi there.. fr my case is, i neglect my boy. being a mother of 3 is nt easy to handle 3 kids at one shot. coz each n every child is diff. mayb can get a 3rd party talking to him? like asking him y he behave like dis? coz fr my case, my boy will share with my mum wat he's tinking. so aft knowing my fault, i try spending enuf time with him. dun scol dhim ovr small issue. talk to him nicely first. whn it comes to big issue, be firm n stern. also ask daddy to get involve with the discipline. aft that, always assured them that daddy n mummy love u. =)
Nor Haliza H: Actually, it needs optimum patience to discipline a child. U need to ensure that he will notice what are u trying to say, at least he has a little understanding. Look at his eyes and speak to his heart.Slowly u will see he will follow your words.
Rebecca 静敏: My 5yr old boy is getting better now. it's my 2nd gal. age 3 dis yr. everyday creat a havoc.. coz she find that i nvr spend enuf time with her. there's only 24 hrs a day.. i spend 8-9hr in the ofc. 5hrs with her n elder bro. the balance is sleeping time. some more she slp with me. yet still nt enuf fr her... =(
Khayllis Adams: Well they just want to know how patience are his or her parents. once u set the limits they will eventually follow. be consistents on what you do with them......
Jacqueline Teo-Melton: They are only that age for a very short time... So we need to be very patient and show that we love them. My girl is 4 and my boy is 2 years 4 months, my girl does get annoying but I just talk to her the way I would like someone to talk to me, yes, consistency is the key, and talk talk talk... Discipline wise, at this age, its not so much disciplining them that works, but rewarding them, with words of encouragement, praise and lots of reassurance that you love them no matter what. Goodluck! With my boy, the naughty corner, 2 mins max, it works all the time...again, consistency and persistence.
TheAsianParent: Great point Shirley! We think that both parents should agree and be consistent in how they handle their child. If one parent is more lenient, the kid will just keep asking and pushing to get what they want. Mums and dads should support each other so the child knows that when one says no, the answer will be a no, no matter who they ask. Most kids will outgrow this phase, so persevere! Our community of parents will support you:)
Nita Loanita: I do have the same problem. Start at 3 years old til now 7. My son won't listen a single word i've said. Nor the soft way or the hard way won't change him. When he feel being offended, he'll get out of control.
Tiffany Huang: My son sometimes also like that but he would scared of his daddy as more strict than me. I would try talk to my son nicely & told him the reason why I scolded or said him & the result quite good as my son would listen & behave well after that. U can try it to see how the results. BUT 1 thing is never let our children ignore by just walking away while we talk to him as I think they become more naughtier & dun respect us & other people... Gd luck(";)
Charissa Chua: Cut down on sweet stuff and reduce TV time. This helps my son to be less rebellious and concentrate better on positive activities. Also try the 1-2-3 counting to stop negative behaviours like whining, throwing tantrums, etc. Once you have reached the count of 3 and the he still refuse to listen, then time out or remove his favourite toy/activity. Use reward system to start positive behaviour like doing homework, brushing teeth in the morn/night, etc. The key thing is to be consistent and don't try to reason with him when he is throwing tantrums. Read 1-2-3 Magic by Dr Thomas Phelan. This book was recommended to me when I brought my son to KKH to see a child psychologist when his principal suspected him of ADHD. The end result was no ADHD, just more effective parenting skiils.
Cannie Liew: my 4yrs old son also having behaviour problem. Quite headache with him at home. especially always bully younger brother. ... does not want to share toys and even snap toys from e brother..
Tan Bee Leng: I noticed that every time my kids are away with grandparents, even for 1 day, they will come back with better behaviour. It shows they missed us very much and would not take us for granted. If there are > 1, could be jealously like my girl,4, so need to spend time with her individually.
Yeap Hoi Ting: If you know your son will act opposite way, you can also purposely talk opposite, then he will do your way without his own realizing. :)
Jo-Ann Hernandez: My daughter is 1 yr old and she is doing that too. But somehow I can manage it bec I know her personality. Maybe u can read personality plus so u can handle ur child too. The author will suggest ways on how to handle diff personalities.
Doc Dana E Srither: Give him time outs in one spot. Never let him walk away from you when he is naughty.