Can cheaters really change?

We’re all familiar with the adage that goes: “Once a cheater always a cheater.” Is there any truth to this? The theAsianparent Community community exchanged their opinions on the matter in a recent discussion.

(Click on the image below to view the entire discussion.)

Here’s some of what they had to say:

Players gonna play, play, play

“Based on what I’ve seen from relatives/friends who’ve been cheated on, this statement seems to be true,” wrote Bianca M. “It’s sad but unless a cheater confronts those deep personal issues and stops blaming their partners, they can never break free from the vicious cycle.”

Rose C. agreed. “I know it’s cliche, but a leopard cannot change its spots,” she wrote. “Science has proven that a cheater will always cheat — due to genetic factors.”

There is truth to what Rose had to say. For some people, it really is more difficult to fight their impulses. Watch the video below for an easy-to-understand explanation.

 That’s no excuse for bad behaviour, however. As Ameetess D. wrote, “While I concede that cheating never occurs in a vacuum, the circumstances surrounding the propensity for a betrayal doesn’t change the fact that a person cheated.”

People can change

Others from the theAsianparent Community think the generalization is unfair.

“The phrase may have some truth to it, but it also suggests that people are incapable of change and remorse,” wrote Idza B. “I honestly think that it’s not true in most cases — people can change, it’s a matter of whether they want to or not.”

“Just because they’ve cheated before doesn’t mean they’ll cheat again,” wrote Rajan G. “Some people will, some people won’t. Different people are different. May be accurate within that specific relationship but not necessarily on the next one.”

Photo: Shutterstock

“I won’t be able to forgive, either way”

For some people, cheating automatically marks the end of a relationship, because regardless of whether or not the cheater remains unfaithful or not, they will never be able to trust again.

“For me, I feel that I can never forgive a person who cheats. But this is because of my neurotic personality. I could foresee myself not being able to trust the person again,” wrote Hui Q. N. “Even if the person is capable of change, there will be a constant lingering air of doubt that would be detrimental to the relationship. Hence, it is more an issue of trust to me. Once broken, it will be very difficult to earn it back. The precedence has been set and it is unlikely I will be able to let it go so easily.”

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Republished with permission from: theAsianparent Philippines