New dad’s diaries: why I am not going to apologise for my infant’s crying

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As a recent dad, I have heard insensitive remarks about my infant's crying. Here is why I am not going to apologise to anyone about it.

I was travelling on a bus one day. I do that every day but this was special: this was my 4-month-old son’s first bus ride. As it happens, he felt like expressing himself. So he let out a wail. It lasted for 15 seconds. Being an expert wail-diffuser by now, I successfully changed the crying to giggling. However, this magic act was not appreciated by a few, and a couple that looked in their early 20’s said something abrasive.

The other day, a recent parent was almost in tears when she told me that her neighbour complained to the Condo’s management because ‘the baby cries a lot in the evening’.

I am sure many mums and dads receive this kind of treatment from the fellow bus/place/MRT or even public place sharers. Careless statements are passed and the parents are expected to apologise for the baby’s ‘rude’ behaviour!

The top three comments I have heard are

  • Why bring out a baby so small?
  • If you cannot control a baby, why make one?
  • Why can’t he make the baby shut up? It is so irritating!

And I feel sad about the ignorance of these people. Here is what I have to say to these people, and I am not apologising!

My baby is an infant, not a toddler


I would have agreed with the person who would make the third comment HAD my baby been 2 years old! Disciplining a toddler is possible. No one, not even the parents, like the tantrums thrown by terrible twos. There are ways and means of diffusing this situation, and the toddler would understand what the parent is saying at that age! However, one has to be a special brand of insensitive who suggests that I discipline an infant!

I cannot fly, nor can I afford a taxi every day to and fro from the Infant Care


Yes. Many times, the reason there is an infant in the morning on your bus/MRT is because the mum is taking him to Infant care. She has woken up two hours earlier than you did to get ready and ensure that everything is ready for the baby’s day out at Infant care.

She pumps milk when it is still dark outside (and you are still snoring), and barely grabs a bite before rushing out to ensure that she reaches work on time. So next time you ask the question, “Why to bring a kid so small out?” remember – no mum loves to make the lives of others miserable by subjecting them to her infant’s war cries.

Read on to know why I am not going to apologise for my infant’s crying

For Mum & Dad Newborn Behaviour