Is it really true that a newborn can ruin intimacy between a couple and possibly affect the marriage? We explore the subject of no sex after baby in this piece.
You are already aware that a new baby will bring many changes in your life. It is a given and you have accepted that graciously.
In a report from the Daily Mail, experts actually say that there is a phenomenon coined “baby quake” in which a relationship/marriage is shaken up due to the monumental changes—that could potentially drive mum and dad apart due to no sex after baby.
Is there really no sex after baby?
According to the study by a charity OnePlusOne, close to two-thirds of participants who were new parents were worried about their relationship. The main reasons for concern were the new roles (bread winner/stay-at-home mum), neglect and they somehow stop seeing each other as romantic partners.
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Over a quarter of new dads were concerned that their partners do not want to have sex after baby. These couples also desire for alone time instead of constant baby worries.
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The director of the charity offered: “Becoming a parent can put a relationship under extreme pressure as each partner tries to adjust to their new role. For some, it can be almost like a mini-earthquake. Often one becomes a stay-at-home parent and this can be very isolating.”
She added: “Time alone is vital because it’s very easy to slip into seeing each other as parents rather than as romantic partners, leading to issues around sex and intimacy.”
Over 1,400 mums and dads took part in the study. Stats show that close to a quarter broke up from the partner whom they had the first child with. Out of the parents who split, two-fifths parted ways during pregnancy or before the baby turned three.
FAQs about sex during and after birth–yes “during”
Sweating the simple stuff
Simple stuff like dividing up chores and laundry may not seem so simple after all. It is these nitty-gritty-petty things that could drive couples insane. Then there are larger issues like a sense of identity, parenting styles and isolation blues that can also affect a relationship.
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Reasons sex after baby is difficult
Obviously there will be some obstacles to hot sex right after delivery. No one will question that, but why is it hard to get intimate after the arrival of a new baby? Here are a list of reasons.
Depression, blues and body image
Need we say more? Some mothers don’t feel as confident about their bodies after going through the tremendous changes after pregnancy and childbirth. So feeling sexy and getting in the mood is the last thing on a woman’s mind. The male partner should be sensitive about this.
Hormones, fatigue and breastfeeding
New parents are really burnt out and spent with sleepless nights and after childbirth a woman’s hormones have gone whack, so secretions down there may be lacking. Nursing could either satisfy or decrease the need for sex.
Breastfeeding and sex after baby
Fear, pain and lack of privacy
The above are pretty self-explanatory. Healing is needed after the labour and there is always fear of the unknown, especially if it is the first childbirth. With the new baby, there is hardly any alone time to get naughty—so sexy time is difficult.