Coping with divorce and kids: Jamie Yeo separated from husband, Thorsten Nolte
Radio DJ Jamie Yeo separated from her Englishman husband Thorsten Nolte. The couple have been living away from each other for the past 10 months.
According to statistics by the Singapore Department of Statistics, the number of marital dissolutions in the country is on the rise. In 2013, the total number of divorces and annulments stood at 7,525. This is a sizeable jump from 7,237 in the previous year. And, the latest case came after Jamie Yeo separated from her husband.
Local celebrity and radio personality Jamie Yeo’s separation from her husband, making hers one of the latest cases of marital dissolutions.
In an interview last week with lifestyle magazine 8 Days, Yeo announced that she will be returning to MediaCorp as a DJ with Gold90.5FM next month. In addition, she also shared that she has been separated from Thorsten Nolte, her Englishman husband. The couple had been married for 4 years, but were living separately for the past 10 months.
The 37-year-old allegedly described the break-up as a “gradual process.” She also stated that it was caused by “deep-seated problems that stemmed from their inherent personality differences.”
According to the Straits Times, the couple have a four-year-old daughter, Alysia, whom they now share custody of.
In that same interview, Yeo also brought up her ex-husband and fellow DJ Glenn Ong. She issued an apology to him and said that the break-up of their marriage in 2009 was her fault.
Currently a presenter with SingTel’s mio TV, Yeo also runs a local shopping website, mums.sg.
Without a doubt, the breakup of a marriage is tough – both for the couple and their kids.
Your kids may end up feeling hurt or even resentful. And while you might not be able to turn things around and make these feelings go away, you can still help them cope with this very complex family situation.
Here are some suggestions to keep in mind:
1. Spend quality time every day
The whole family will need to adjust to new routines, schedules, and living situations. It may take time for life to seem normal again. Kids of different ages adapt differently too. So it might be worthwhile to make it a point to have one-on-one time with each child, every day.
This helps you find out how they are coping with the situation. You can reassure them that you still love them despite what happened with the other parent.
2. Settle on a fixed parenting schedule
After settling custody arrangements, the next thing to do is to decide on a firm parenting schedule that provides frequent and regular contact with the other parent. Despite not living together, the other parent should still be actively involved in the kids’ life and well-being.
Always remember that each parent’s time with the kids is precious – so don’t change plans for the time your kids is scheduled to spend with your ex.
The last time you want to do is to disappoint your kids and make them feel that they are no longer important in the other parent’s life.
3. Put your feelings aside
During the course of the divorce, you might have developed negative feelings towards the whole situation. However, it is important to remember that all negative feelings should be shelved and never be made visible when your kids are around.
It’s also extremely important to talk to your kids without making any damaging or disparaging remarks about the other parent. The last thing you want to do is to get your kids to “take sides.”
Your kids will adjust to this difficult family situation better when you show a healthy sense of respect for the other parent.
4. Do not interfere with your ex’s parenting
You and your ex are now parenting your kids separately, and each parent has the right to develop his/her preferred parenting style. Keep an open mind and acknowledge what your ex has to offer your kids.
Think back of the qualities that first attracted you to him/her. Those qualities still exist and are now available to your child.
As long as its not harmful, you should cooperate with your ex to freely parent the child the way he/she deems fit.
It is normal for everyone to feel awkward and uncomfortable about this new family situation. This, in addition to how both parents relate to the kids and to each other.
The key here is to affirm your commitment to the new relationship. And, always put the best interest of your kids first before in every decision you make.
If you know anyone who is going through a difficult family situation, the following organisations may be able to help them: