5 ways to fix your child's rebellious streak

Blame it on today’s society, modern TV shows or even your kid’s rude best friend, most children rebel against their parents at some point in their young lives. If you are lucky, this outward show of disrespect seldom occurs. But if you are one of those parents whose rebellious teenager or kid constantly disobeys instructions, here are some essential steps you could take.

Hear them out

In many cases, rebellion is caused by circumstance. When children break the rules, refrain from immediately scolding them. Rather, take time to hear them out. If your child comes back home late, you should question the reason behind his tardiness. It is entirely possible that he got lost on the way home from school. Scolding him without giving him a chance to explain himself, would only stoke the fires of rebellion.

Explain the rules

Let your child understand why you set the boundaries. Children are often frustrated when faced with numerous restrictions, and this boils over when they cannot see the reason behind the rule. Let your child know you love him. Explain clearly that the rules and restrictions enforced on the child are done out of love and not in hate. When your child knows that he is being protected and cherished, there is less of a tendency to rebel.

Deal with the problem, not the person

When rebellious teenagers or children disobey, it is easy for parents to point the accusing finger and attack back. However, clashes such as these would only serve to sour the parent-child relationship. The solution lies in not attacking the rebellious child’s character, rather, focus on the inappropriate behaviour. Calling your child a ‘liar’ over and over is damaging to his self-esteem. Instead go to the heart of the offence and deal with the very issue of lying, and why it is a wrong thing to do.

Don’t compare

Many Singaporean parents are guilty of comparing their kids with others, especially with regards tor results in school. While parents hope this would spur their children to achieve more, constant comparison usually results in the opposite. Being compared to their better-performing peers makes children feel angry and incompetent.

Instead, try to appreciate the child more. Praise him for his efforts and offer regular encouragement. These are signals to the child that he is doing something right and would result in a continuation of good behaviour.

Give a little leeway

This last piece of advice is perhaps the toughest for parents. But it is important to note that overprotective and possessive parents result in overly rebellious children. It is not necessary to give children a complete free rein, instead give a little leeway in certain aspects of their lives. Allow them to make certain decisions and to learn from their personal experiences. We as parents just have to be there for them throughout the growing process.