According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, in order to be a self-actualised person, one must first satisfy the one’s basic needs and work one’s way up, starting with physiological needs, safety needs, need for belonging and love, and need for esteem, respectively.
The same principle applies to marriage.
If you want to be a self-actualised union, you must satisfy each other’s most basic needs; and your husband has these five basic needs that all wives has to be aware of.
“Having the desire to fulfill your husband’s needs is in no way submitting yourself to an inferior role as a wife,” said Becky Squire of Family Share. “If you truly love your spouse, then you want to make him happy, and these five things generally make men happy — simple as that.”
1. Recreational companionship
“My husband and I are a classic example of a couple with hardly anything in common, especially when it comes to hobbies,” Becky admitted. “We enjoy doing our own things—which can be good in a marriage.”
That doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t pay attention to your husband’s interests. Every once in a while, show some genuine interest in his hobbies.
“He may even return the favour and spend the day doing what you want to do!”
2. Sexual fulfilment
“One thing my husband and I have learned is to never treat intimacy like a game—to never withhold it as punishment,” Becky said. “Doing so only intensifies feelings of negativity and resentment. Intimacy brings couples together better than anything, and if it’s important to your husband, it needs to be important to you.”
“My husband works 8-10 hours a day, then spends his evenings going to school or doing homework,” shares Becky. “You may not physically see how much your husband does for your family every day, which can make his efforts easier to forget—out of sight, out of mind.”
Do not only tell him how much you appreciate and love what he does for you and your family—show it, even through little things such dedicating some alone time just for the two of you, brewing his morning coffee, getting ready his work clothes for the following day.
4. Domestic support
This involves creating for the two of you healthy, peaceful, well-managed home situation.
“You and your husband may share household chores and other home responsibilities equally, or your husband may need you to handle these responsibilities more often if he is busy handling others.
“Again, in a healthy relationship, your husband should be doing his part. If this is the case, fulfill hubby’s needs by cooking meals, washing dishes, keeping your home clean, etc.”
5. An attractive spouse
People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that beauty is subjective, and that one’s physical appearance shouldn’t be the focal point of any relationship.
Although there are a lot of truth behind these tenets, it also won’t hurt to pamper yourself once in a while and try to look good your your significant other.
“As a mother of four, I know how easy it is to stay in my pajamas all day, how luxurious it is to wait and shower when I actually have five minutes of privacy,” said Becky. “Some days are like that, and that’s OK, but don’t let this type of thing become a habit.”
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them with us!