You might cringe at the idea of sex toys. There is a common misconception that sex toys are illicit and only for the more sexually adventurous members of society. It’s not something you would like to be seen shopping online for!
But, why not?
Sex toys are great for enhancing a couple’s sex life, married or not. They are safe (mostly), clean (make sure you wash them after use!) and they are a great way to keep your marriage alive and glowing. Why should the unmarried or the small minority of sexually adventurous people be the only ones to benefit from these wonderful inventions?
Many marriages break down because partners might cheat, and some people cheat because they feel sexually dissatisfied. Sex in marriage can also become routine and even tedious – understandably, it can be difficult to keep the flames of passion roaring.
The benefits of nights of great sex can spill over into your daily lives, with more frequent touches, a better sense of well-being and even a higher level of openness in the marriage. Good sex makes happy couples and happy parents!
Here’s your blow-by-blow (oops, did we just do that?) guide on the sex toys available on the market, and how they can be put to good use to make your marriage a more exciting and stronger one.
A vibration is an electronic device that, well, vibrates. These vibrators can be battery powered or attached to a power outlet. External vibrators create undulating pulses of different intensity that enable a clitorial orgasm for the woman.
If you are a newbie to sex toys, this is a great place to start. They are easy to use – simply put one against your clitoris, or have your husband do it, and turn up or down the intensity according to your preference. If you are sensitive and cannot take the direct on-point pressure, you can use it through thin fabric.
Clitorial orgasms are also easier to achieve than deeper g-spot orgasms, so this can be even used as foreplay.
Battery operated vibrators are easy to carry around and are easier to hide from prying little hands (i.e. kids). That means you and your husband can get it on anywhere that is convenient, and great for date night outs! But vibrators that are hooked to a electric outlet are typically more durable. It also means they won’t die just while you are about to hit your orgasm.
External vibrators are great for ensuring women do not go dissatisfied during sexual intercourse, especially for women that find it difficult to find the elusive “O”, it takes the pressure off your husband.
External vibrators can also be used as extra stimulation during penetration and oral sex to give you a more intense orgasm. Be creative and try it out on your or his different erogenous zones.
G-spot toys are very similar to external vibrators, only they are usually curved up at the tip to stimulate your g-spot.
G-spot orgasms are not for everyone, and not every woman can achieve it, even with the help of a sex toy – but then you never know until you try! For women who can climax with G-spot stimulation, these orgasms can be deeply satisfying.
The G-spot toy is great for women who do get aroused, but are not able to climax, or are not able to climax as deeply as they would like to. It puts the extra oomph in a couple’s lovemaking session. Blended orgasms are also possible with the G-spot toy with your husband providing the external stimulation and the vibrator doing the work on the G-spot.
A dildo is essentially a penis look-alike, usually made with silicon. This is more of a solo type of a toy and is designed to give a feeling of “fullness” to the woman.
If used as a couple in the bedroom, dildos introduce the possibility of strap ons, harnesses and double penetration. These require some care and consent should probably be sought before attempting to use it in couple sex.
If you think you and your partner are ready for something really edgy and sexually adventurous, you can explore the possibilities of a dildo, but always make sure it is done with prudence.
There are lots of other toys in the market that you can consider, other than the more direct sexual toys. Everyday items like feathers, scarves and moisturizers as lubricants can be used. Popular sexual toys that you can only find in the sex toy shops include penis rings (for your man), silky blindfolds, furry handcuffs and even beads.
These require more imaginative and creative play, with some couples even indulging in elaborate role playing.
But if you are pressed for time, (which mother isn’t?), we recommend the more direct toys for greater satisfaction under the sheet! Have fun!