Last longer in bed: Sex tips for men
Don’t fret if your man worried is about his performance in bed. Read about how to address the 5 most common sex concerns for men
Sexual performance is an issue that men are always concerned about but seldom dare to ask. What exactly is normal? Where can I get help? We explore these issues with doctors from Raffles Hospital.
“I’ve had many male patients from all walks of life coming to my clinic,” said Dr Fong Yan Kit, Consultant Urologist, Raffles Surgery Centre. “They were very intrigued by sexual performance enhancing products even though some of them don’t really need them.”
So what is considered normal sexual performance? And what are these products that drive men in droves to the doctor’s room when these same men will brush away calls to see their doctor for their sniffly nose?
Sex-life is an important component in a successful marriage, even in elderly couples. To achieve a healthy sex life, there are drugs which help men maintain a healthy sexual relationship with their spouse.
Is your sexual life satisfying you and your partner? We look at common problems and how they can be treated.
1. Getting it up
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition where you have trouble getting or keeping an erection that is strong enough for vaginal penetration.
Modern science has made it possible for ED to be treated with the use of drugs. This would require a visit to the doctor’s for an accurate assessment of your condition.
Said Dr Fong, “Viagra, Cialis and Levitra are the three most common drugs and the usual first line of medications prescribed for erectile dysfunction. They are all phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors and work in the same way, differing only in the onset and duration of action.”
2. Too fast, too furious
One of the major grouses that women have is that men tend to ejaculate too soon. Experts say most men reach orgasm in under 3 minutes (after 30 to 60 thrusts), while women require at least 7 minutes.
“Premature ejaculation is defined as the inability to control ejaculation to satisfy a partner 50% of the time,” explained Dr Fong, “this is very subjective with no exact time guideline.”
In general, relaxing and practising can help you deal with the problem. You can distract yourself by thinking non-sexual thoughts to avoid becoming excited too soon.
“Treatment options usually begin with psychosexual counselling which has been proven to work for some couples,” said Dr Fong, “Those who need the extra help will then be prescribed topical and oral medications.”
3. Are we there yet?
Retarded ejaculation is a medical condition in which the man is unable to ejaculate, either during intercourse or with manual stimulation in the presence of a partner.
Most men ejaculate within 2 to 4 minutes after onset of active thrusting in intercourse. Men with retarded ejaculation may be entirely unable to ejaculate in some circumstances, or to ejaculate only with great effort and after prolonged intercourse (for example 30 to 45 minutes).
According to Dr Eng Soo Kiang, Family Physician, Raffles HealthScreeners, “The most common causes for retarded ejaculation are psychological such as fear, anger or stress. Making love under stress or fear can result in problems with ejaculation.”
Other causes for retarded ejaculation include drugs and neurological disease.
Depending on the cause, doctors would then recommend therapy, hypnosis or changing of medications.
Marital stress, sexual dissatisfaction, inhibited sexual desire, and avoidance of sexual contact may result if the problem is not addressed and remedied.
Healthy attitudes toward sexuality can help prevent retarded ejaculation.
To prevent retarded ejaculation, Dr Eng advised that couples should enjoy the moment of pleasure rather than to be concerned about ejaculation. Partners should also support by providing a relaxed atmosphere, free of pressure. An open discussion of any fears or anxieties is also beneficial.
Here's how you can counter such problems:
When one talks about erectile dysfunction, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is usually not the first thing that comes to mind.
As Mr Wu Yue, TCM Physician of Raffles Chinese Medicine shared, “Many of my first-time patients assume that TCM would be a painful alternative to Western treatments. But it really is a safe and effective option with few side effects.”
According to TCM, erectile dysfunction is caused by one of the following:
- Intemperance of sexual life and decline of fire in ‘mingmen’ (gate of life)
- Stress or anxiety that impairs the heart and spleen and leads to blockage
- Downward migration of damp-heat in the liver and kidney that leads to flaccidity of the genitalia.
Treatments that TCM physicians employ include acupuncture with moxibustion and herbs and pills. With a holistic approach towards erectile dysfunction, Mr Wu pointed out that underlying causes of the dysfunction, such as diabetes, anxiety, or hypertension, can also be treated at the same time.
“In this way, the patients’ general health and well being would also see improvement,” he said.
Rev it up
Patients who receive help for their sexual health do not just have better sex. They feel better and generally lead a better quality of life.
Speak to your doctor if you are not satisfied with your performance.
Be it to regain your manly confidence or to alleviate your concerns, an improved sexual life can give you a better quality of life.
Lifestyle changes to enhance your libido
- Lose weight
- Overweight persons will find that losing even a few kilos can stimulate sex hormones.
- Eat right
- Choose nutritious food which control cholesterol and blood sugar levels. Heart friendly foods such as grains, fruits, nuts, vegetables, and lean sources of dairy and protein can help too.
- Exercise regularly
- Build up endurance and your heart by adding a few high-intensity bouts to your fitness routine. Also consider strength training for shapely muscle, keep your body fit for your daily activities (including sex).
- Rest and relax
- Get in the mood for love by having ample rest. Sex is usually thrown out of the window if you’re exhausted.
- Think positive
- Whatever your body shape or size, accept yourself and see its potential for sensuality.
This article is provided by Raffles Medical Group. For more information visit http://www.rafflesmedicalgroup.com/