Should we allow children to throw tantrums and show anger?

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How do you nurture emotional intelligence in children? Here are some quick tips for you.

In July, I shared with you the need to empathise with your children to empower them to develop their emotional intelligence. This will help them thrive and succeed in our competitive world. In this article, I invite you to consider the value of allowing and encouraging children to express themselves.

When our children throw tantrums or show anger, we often get angry and tell them to behave. We deny them the chance to express their feelings and tell their side of the story.

Encouraging children to express their feelings does not mean that you encourage them to continue to throw tantrums or make complaints. It means that you calm them down and encourage them to tell their story in order to explain the source of their anger or frustration. Oftentimes, parents are too quick to judge and we tend to shut them up before listening to the full story.

Allow and encourage expression

Let them talk and then calmly ask some simple questions to help them assess the situation. This will help them learn how to deal with their anger. Ask them:

  •  Why are you angry?
  •  Who has caused you to be so angry?
  •  What has caused you to be so angry?
  •  What can you do to calm yourself down?
  •  Would you like to confront the person?
  •  How should you confront the person?
  •  Can you change the situation?
  •  If not, what do you propose to do?
  •  How long would you like to remain angry?
  •  How does it benefit you to remain angry?

Why is it important for kids to develop emotional intelligence? Read on the next page!

Positive Parenting