A disturbing clip featuring a young Indian girl being forced to read by a woman — presumably her mother — has been doing the rounds of the social media.
It has shocked parents across the globe. And it has even caught the attention of celebrities who are now calling it “abusive” and “hurtful”.
The video begins with the teary-eyed girl (aged between four to five years) trying to read aloud the numbers one to five. She fumbles and falters and is screamed at by the woman for her mistakes.
Watch as the girl’s begs for mercy go unanswered!
Knowing that a beating is coming, she begs and pleads with the woman crying “We will study with love please.”
However, towards the end of the video, she fails to answer a question posed by the woman and is slapped hard right across her face.
The complete video (below) was shared by Virat Kohli, captain of the Indian national cricket team. It was after he posted the video that it became viral in India. It was shared by several parents who voiced their concerns about corporal punishment.
Along with the video Kohli wrote: “The fact that the pain and anger of the child is ignored and ones own ego to make the child learn is so massive that compassion has totally gone out of the window. This is shocking and saddening to another dimension. A child can never learn if intimidated. This is hurtful (sic).”
Soon after he posted the clip, various other celebrities — many of whom are parents themselves — condemned it in the harshest possible way.
The video once again rakes up the debate of whether corporal punishment is the best way to discipline a child.
Many parents argue that sparing the rod can spoil the child. But a vast majority of Indian parents believe that it is the only way to discipline children.
Experts say corporal punishment does not work!
According to Dr Navya Singh, clinical psychologist and co-founder of wayForward.co.in, “Spanking is not a solution to any problem that a parent or teacher might have with a child. People often use corporal punishment to change or modify behaviour. However, research in the field of child behavioural psychology, over the years, has revealed that punishment does not work for changing unwanted behaviour.”
Dr Singh further adds that what really works is to explain the negative consequences of his or her actions as opposed to using force or yelling at them. In fact, Dr Singh explains that spanking can actually lower their confidence and even lead to aggression in the future.
“It just lowers the child’s confidence, and contributes to making them sad, anxious, and even defiant. The idea is to understand that a child might be displaying negative behaviour for a reason. The child might be feeling lonely, sad, or there might be some problems with peers or at home.”
She adds, “If we hit them, we’re giving them the message that it is OK to hit others or that physical aggression is a means to express oneself. Such kids displace this learnt aggression onto other kids.”
3 positive ways to discipline children without spanking
So here are some positive ways to discipline children without hitting or yelling at them:
- Communicate: Talk to your child about the consequences of his or her actions and try to verbalise their concerns. Most of the time when children act unruly, it are trying to voice something, albeit aggressively. So as a responsible parent you must try to understand what is disturbing them.
- Reward and not punish: Instead of punishing then for what they may have done wrong, reward them for all that they do right.
- Calm yourself: The most important thing to remember however, is to be calm and composed when dealing with kids. You are your children’s role model. You do not want to set the precedence for violence and aggression by displaying it constantly yourself.
Republished with permission from theIndusparent
All images courtesy: Twitter, Youtube
Read: 10 Effective ways to discipline your children