3 Types of sex games and how they benefit your love life
And one kind of game you should avoid like the plague
With everything that parents need to juggle, sometimes, things can get quite dull and stale in the bedroom. Are you looking for something to bring that fire back to your sex life? Then, you’ll definitely want to read about these three best sex games for couples that you should try out.
Sex games are more than just a novelty
Dulcinea Pitagora is a New York psychotherapist, aka “The Kink Doctor”. She explains that sex games are really meant to increase communication between couples. Before any game begins, the two of you need to agree on the rules and parameters of the game. Afterwards, as a couple, there should be a process of “aftercare”.
When playing sex games, your mind, body and emotions can go all over the place. Aftercare helps bring the two of you back to reality. It’s so you and hubby can talk about what happened during the game, appreciate and examine what you both liked and disliked together.
These are 3 types of best sex games for couples to try (and 1 to avoid)
1. Novelty (or fantasies)
These involve fantasies, desires and curiosities. For example, either you or hubby can list things in bed you always secretly wanted to do but never tried or had the chance to. Write down which of those overlap, cut them into pieces of paper and draw them randomly from a bowl.
Or try some truth or dare, or ask questions about each other’s secret fantasies.
Even if the two of you agree on the fantasy, it’s important that before you dive in head first, be sure to consent once more. It’s totally okay to decide you’re not ready for it at the last minute. Alternatively, set a safe word or gesture, so both parties can stop the moment one is feeling uncomfortable.
Role-playing is acting like another person/character to fulfill a fantasy. It can be as mild as cosplay to something more extreme like a dominant submissive relationship. Pick up a new identity like boss/employee, doctor/nurse or strangers at a bar, to something outlandish that involves handcuffs – let the imagination run wild.
When you role-play as a couple, you and hubby can become something you always wanted to try to become. Role-playing also means the two of you further explore your erotic desires, fantasies and self-identification – building trust.
There’s an endless amount of scenarios or activities you can think of and act out together in bed. Remember to discuss about the experience prior and set boundaries if needed before engaging in the role-play. And when it’s done, don’t forget to cuddle in aftercare to increase intimacy and partner bonding.
3. Virtual Reality (VR)
What is VR? Virtual reality is using computer equipment, like the head mounted display in the picture above, to create and display a simulated environment. Instead of viewing a screen, it’s like experiencing a whole new world in first-person view – like you’re actually there.
VR sex games combine VR and sex fantasies – creating an artificial sexual experience. While it is not easily accessible, the possibilities are endless.
While we encourage couples to interact with each other without a virtual “firewall” in between, VR sex takes the novelty and role-play categories above to the extreme.
Imagine creating a unique character or universe that can only experienced in the virtual world. It’s a way to explore each other’s sexual identity or body in ways that are impossible in reality.
However, if you or your hubby are the loner type, chances are that VR sex can be a way to reinforce a tendency to isolate oneself. And unfortunately, there’s no cost-effective way to stimulate each other physically through VR. The quality of these games are also mixed, and many are tailored to men. We caution you to tread this path very carefully.
4. AVOID Competition
Games and competition go hand in hand. But when it comes to sex games, competition is a no-no. Remember, how well you do in bed is completely subjective. Doing something longer isn’t always better.
We already get judged and compared to in the office, at family gatherings, and in public. Don’t bring this to the bedroom.
The key takeaway is, no one should be a loser in sex.