Informing your kids that you and your spouse are going through a divorce
is not easy, needless to say. But you can alleviate some of the pain if you stick to a game plan. Enter this discussion with the mindset if focussing on simplicity, truth and emotional comfort.
Avoid sharing inappropriate details about you and your partner (this will only confuse them, and make them feel uncomfortable).
Don’t bad-mouth each other, and make sure you share the same story on the reasons to why this decision was made. Keep the focus on the kids, not on the adults, in terms of how this will impact their lives: Will they be moving? When will they see each of you?
Make sure the kids know they did not cause this to happen. "We grew apart" is a good explanation for starters.
Refrain from telling the children that you are divorcing unless you and your spouse are absolutely certain that the decision is final. Reassurance is key- let them know that you each will separately have relationships with them (that it is not all broken, at least not with them). Secure them and make them feel loved by showing them that even though the family unit is undergoing changes, that you will always be there for them.
Establishing an open and honest line of communication between parents and children from an early age is crucial. So parents, take a deep breath, and tackle these issues, one child at a time!
If you have a great idea for helping another parent get out of one of these situations, do share in the comment box below!