Ask The Expert (ATE): Too Much Screen, Too Little Play: Is Your Child Losing Essential Life Skills?

In our digital age, screens are practically everywhere, from iPads to video calls. While they can offer convenience and connection, what happens when screen time begins to replace real-world play and interaction? Could it be impacting your child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development in ways you may not yet realise?

We sat down with Titus Ting, Early Education Specialist and Founder of Tiny Mountains, to answer your pressing questions, from limiting screentime responsibly to understanding the role of play in developing essential life skills.

Is it okay if we let our 3½‑year‑old use the iPad more over the weekend so we can rest a bit?

Titus Ting: Yes, that’s okay. Parenting is demanding, and rest matters. Just aim for balance — try to also include time outdoors or in movement‑based play first, before screen time. And if possible, offer something active afterwards too. Weekend screen time won’t undo everything if your weekday rhythm supports development through real‑world experiences.

Do video calls with grandparents count as screen time?

Titus Ting: No, not in the same way. Video calls are interactive and build relationships. They support language and connection. That said, they should still be balanced with other types of interaction, especially play and physical activity.

What type of play best helps children manage emotions?

Titus Ting: Nature‑based, sensory‑rich, and physically active play helps most. Digging in soil, water play, collecting leaves or stones, or just running and jumping – these help regulate energy, calm the nervous system, and give kids time to process feelings through movement and exploration.

Is taking selfies or using the camera considered screen time?

Titus Ting: It’s still screen time, but less harmful and less likely to be addictive. Redirect him to other activities or encourage taking pictures of other things instead of just himself.

My 3‑year‑old already skips ads and searches for cartoons himself — is that okay?

Titus Ting: It’s common; kids pick up digital habits fast. But it may lead to overstimulation. The main concern is how often they’re using screens and whether they also play, move, and interact well offline.

My child learns a lot from YouTube — can dance, repeat phrases — is that “bad” screen time?

Titus Ting: Not necessarily “bad,” but limited in value. Mimicking is good, but real-world practice is what matters. Encourage physical movement off-screen—dancing, following in-person instructions, or doing similar activities outdoors.

My almost‑2‑year‑old rarely speaks—is screen time to blame?

Titus Ting: Possibly. Excessive passive screen use can delay speech and language, because it replaces real interaction. Involve your child in daily tasks, read together, and talk about what you see. No need for special activities—just include them in your everyday life.

My son gets bored quickly playing alone and ends up asking for iPad — what to do?

Titus Ting: You don’t need to be creative—just create space. Kids figure things out through action, even if they resist at first. Boredom is normal; what he really needs is engagement, not novelty.

My shy daughter is expressive on screen but reserved in real life—is that a concern?

Titus Ting: Not necessarily—but worth observing. Some kids feel more at ease in filtered or one‑sided interactions. The key is that online expression doesn’t replace real-life engagement. Support her real-world confidence through nature playgroups, parent-child classes, or consistent outdoor play with peers.

What if grandparents or caregivers give screen time behind my back?

Titus Ting: You’ll need a firm, honest conversation. Explain your expectations and share the purpose behind them—e.g. building focus and calm. Offer alternatives like nature-based toys, bubbles, walks, water play, or singing. If they don’t follow, maintain consistent limits at home, they still make a difference.

My daughter has tantrums when her iPad is taken away, especially in public. What helps?

Titus Ting: Start with clear, calm warnings — “After this video, we’re stopping.” Use visual cues like timers or sand clocks. In public, bring small toys, snacks, stickers, or books. If she cries, stay calm and validate her feelings — “You really want more iPad time”—but hold the boundary. Consistent limits matter most, even if it’s hard initially.

Should I worry if my child isn’t as tech‑savvy as peers?

Titus Ting: No—digital skill at age 2 or 3 doesn’t equate to deeper development. What counts more is their ability to move, interact, problem‑solve, and express themselves offline. Even non‑verbal communication shows progress.

With schools using tablets now, should I limit home screen time?

Titus Ting: Yes. Foundational life skills like attention, listening, self‑regulation, and communication are built better through play, movement, and face‑to‑face interaction. Kids learn tech quickly when older. Early overexposure may hinder concentration in class later. Home should be where real-world skills grow.

My child is already “screen‑addicted” — how do I reduce screentime and keep them engaged?

Titus Ting: Replace, don’t remove. Offer an active alternative before denying screen time: a walk, a treasure hunt, pretend adventure. At first, they might resist—but don’t give up. Also, reduce your own screen use in front of them — it makes a big difference.

What types of play improve focus, emotional control, and communication?

Titus Ting: Outdoor, sensory-rich activities work best — and it’s okay if they’re messy! For a 1½‑year‑old, try stacking stones, sorting leaves or sticks, or building with mud or sand. Mess and momentary frustration are part of learning, emotional exposure, and focus development.

How can I balance screen use when family and friends all seem to encourage it?

Titus Ting: Balance is about intention, not perfection. Set realistic boundaries — e.g. no screens before outdoor play or meals. Allow occasional screen time, but prioritise hands-on, physical, and nature experiences every day. Explain your approach to family: it’s not about banning screens, but making intentional choices that support your child’s growth.

Should I worry if my toddler already knows how to swipe and tap through phone apps?

Titus Ting: No, it’s not unusual. Toddlers learn fast by observing. Devices are designed to be intuitive. But while impressive, it doesn’t show cognitive or emotional maturity. What matters is what screen use might be replacing—like movement, face-to-face interaction, and hands-on play.

The Real Skillset Kids Need Isn’t Found on a Screen

While digital literacy has a place in the future, it shouldn’t dominate a child’s early development. Kids don’t need to be tech‑savvy by age 3—they need to move, play, feel, and connect. Real-world experiences help shape emotional resilience, communication, and focus in ways no screen ever can. As parents, the goal isn’t perfection—it’s intention.

About the Expert

Titus Ting is an Early Education Specialist and the founder of Tiny Mountains, a creative educator collective dedicated to nurturing children through nature-based, sensory-rich, and movement-driven learning experiences. With years of experience guiding families, Titus offers practical strategies rooted in developmental science and real-world parenting realities.