Are you too old to be a dad? How old is too old?
Many people are becoming dads later on in life. However, is it the same? Do older dads face more difficulties? Read on to find out.
Are you an old dad? And are you too old to be a dad? The answer to the second question is no. However, it is not easy.
You are as young as you feel like. And it is true in most of the cases. However, because of the human impulse to bracket and sort everything, you may have been classified as a grandfather material instead of a father. Well, don't be upset. One of the abilities that a man retains throughout his life is to produce viable sperm.
There is a catch though, and there is a study that supports this claim. As you grow older, your spermatozoa might undergo some mutations and so, there is an increased risk of a few diseases in your children. The risk is not great, but it is there. The chances of such abnormalities may be compared to the genetic mutational risks associated with late pregnancies in women. However, there is a solution – freeze your sperm.
Is that all that is in store?
I wish I could say, "That's it, dude. Everything else is easy." However, there are a lot of challenges when it comes to becoming a dad later on in life. To be candid, being a good parent is not an easy job. You learn to live with massive changes in the social life, lack of sleep, perpetual tiredness to name a few. In return, you gain the title of being a dad, and you might even enjoy the phase for a long time!
Here are three things though, that you will face when you decide to become a dad later on in life.
1. You are going to tire out more easily than the younger dads
Kids tend to be a handful. So it is not just the outdoor activities that are going to sap your energy. Even the simple act of taking care of the baby over a weekend is going to be tough. When I become a dad at 31, (still young), I stopped counting the number of times I got out of bed/sofa within 3 minutes of lying down/sitting. Your family counts on you to fix things, and they have an increased propensity of breaking down after you become a parent.
Your responses may be slow, so you may face some difficulty in helping your child with his studies, or even when you are playing with him. Just be extra-alert when you are with him somewhere he might get hurt, say a playground.
2. Backaches are going to be a norm
If you are fit, good job! If you aren't, like most of the dads after 40s, you are in for a lot of backaches.
Babies feel heavier than a sack of potatoes of the same weight because of the simple fact that the latter stays still while the former wiggle. A lot. You are going to bend a lot. Pick up the baby, change the diapers, change the clothes, because the baby is crying, because the baby looks at you with those soulful eyes and telepathically control your mind, ordering you to pick her up, the reason might be anything.
But that is not the only cause of a backache. Wearing the baby, lifting the 5 kg car seat with a 10 kg kid in it takes its toll over the time. Forgot to mention: there is no getting out of playing a horse.
3. People are going to assume that he is your grandkid
People are idiots, and they are also judgemental. In fact, the extent to which a few people can comprehend things could be measured with a foot ruler.
As a consequence, you are going to be treated as a granddad instead of the dad, and your wife- your daughter. Ignore the idiots. There is a trick to filter this kind of negativity around you. When you hold the baby, have a conversation with her. She would respond with her "goo-goo-ga-gaas," but that would release endorphins in your brain enough to shield you from the negativity around you.
To sum it up,
- Get fit. Dad bod is an excuse. There is no excuse for being unfit. If you want to be a good father and do all the things you would have done had you been younger, get back in shape.
- Freeze your sperm if you are not yet one. If you are getting older and have not yet found the right person with whom you want to raise a child, freeze your sperm. They could come handy if you have a difficulty later on in life.
- Ignore the idiots. This holds true for any situation. They are not a stakeholder in your life. Ergo, what they say does not matter!
Stay awesome dads!
Also read: A father’s letter to his newborn son