Are You Too Busy for Sex?

“I am hot! My wife is hot! This was ideally true during our one year of marriage,” a male friend of mine complains.

He continues, “Nowadays, there’s no way for us to have time for sex because our time is consumed with matters of our three kids, and our jobs.”

He adds that “We don’t have time to unwind. We’re pressured by responsibilities and deadlines all throughout the week. No time for ourselves! No time for the intimacy that couples should have.”

Sound familiar? When you or your spouse reach home is it straight to the kitchen and over to the chores? If you’re beginning to feel like sex was only part of the honeymoon stage of your marriage – we assure you, you are not alone. Not having time to bond with one another or relax, let alone have sex is a complaint heard many a time.

Ouchie! No time for sex. Imagine that!

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It seems, however, that this has become true to my marriage as well. For the past few months, I think that our relationship as husband and wife is no longer healthy as we seem to have been reduced to mere housemates, our concerns only focused on the welfare of the children and of work. I can practically hear my husband’s complaints.

From the deepest recesses of my soul, I found myself longing for such coupling intimacy. Gone are the days when our libido was so active that we’d still manage to find time for sex. After two kids with another one on the way, it is a luxury too lofty to experience.

I’ve discovered that life has dulled as we have forgotten that sex is part of our marriage. So, before it was too late, I reviewed the reasons why sex should still very important to married couples.

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First, sex must be taken into consideration.  It isn’t the centre of a marriage but it is part and parcel of marital life. We find ourselves caught up in the many concerns of life but our sex life shouldn’t have to suffer. Many things can happen when the intimate connection between a husband and a wife is lost.

There is a tendency for us to forget our commitment as husband and wife. We may lose sight of our relationship and end up with constantly disagreeing and quarrelling. Resentment may file up since we no longer appreciate each other’s presence. This could lead to infidelity and extra-marital affairs. It is an active sex life that provides the connection that aids in strengthening our relationship.

Second, sexual intercourse represents the significance of the true nature of union and communion. From the perspective of marriage, sex is said to be the deepest expression of love. The more you engage in lovemaking with your partner, the more intimate you become with one another as you share something in common: true love.  As the name suggests, lovemaking is to be shared with someone you love. It goes beyond meeting one’s physical needs.

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Third, sex helps to build the connection essential to marriage. It drives us to strengthen our bond with our partner. A happily married friend once said, “Sex, in the context of marital relations, can’t just be undermined. It is that which makes life meaningful. Everything I do is easy because I am doing it not for my sake, but for the sake of my partner.”

Thus, if you want your marital relationship to last a lifetime, you should set aside time just for sex.

Since sex is the vital ingredient to husband and wife being in communion, you should never say to your partner, “I’m too busy to even have time for sex”! I can definitely see the husbands getting ready to bold, print and frame that line!