When the abuse comes from someone you trust, you may feel that there is nowhere to go.
Sad though it is, molestation of domestic help has been happening for ages. When the abuse, however, comes from unexpected places, you are even more shocked. This story starts with molestation of the domestic help and progresses to domestic violence against wheelchair-bound wife.
As the story was reported, a domestic help from Indonesia started working for a Singaporean family. She noticed the behaviour of the father a bit weird. She tried to complain but was told to ignore the old man.
The situation started becoming worse when Mr Tan, 56, started to ask her for sexual favours. He followed her and touched her inappropriately. The maid then secretly filmed the molestation and brought it to the notice of Mrs Tan and her son. On being confronted, Mr Tan initially denied everything and later physically abused his wheelchair-bound wife.
Incidents like this make you question the integrity of the institution of marriage. But that is not all. It is not really expected from the older generation, the ones who may be taking care of your children when you are at work. How do you spot abuse? What do you do when you spot someone being abused? Is it an interference in other people's lives if you do that? let me attempt to answer these questions.
How to spot abuse
Domestic abuse, like sexual abuse, turns the victim numb from within. The world collapses around them as most often, the abuser is one of the trusted members of the family. When the caregiver breaches the trust, the emotions in the mind of the victim are mixed. There is fear, shame, hopelessness all bundled into one.
Domestic abuse will not necessarily be against a woman. Men, at times, also end up being abused.
Here are a few signs that a victim of abuse will always display.
- You will notice bruises, marks of violence frequently on the victim. Swollen, split lips and black eyes are commonplace
- The victim will try to make excuses, citing falls or her own carelessness for the injuries. The explanations and the injuries often do not add up.
- There would be an attempt to hide the bruises using makeup or clothing.
- Most often, the victim would be a lonely person, with very few friends.
- The means of living are also limited for these victims. They have no access to money or cards
- The victims would display a sudden change in behaviour
Read on to know what to do when you spot abuse