“I had an abortion without telling my husband”

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What is it that would make a woman hide an abortion from her own husband? Read on...

Mothers who never wished for a second, third or fourth child often fall into a terrifying dilemma – “Should I do it, or not?; “Do I tell him about it, or shall I let it be?” Secret abortions are undeniably present in some marriages and in our society. This is the 21st century after all – where others tend to judge those who appear to be judgemental (ironically) when it comes to imperative issues such as abortion. Nonetheless, it is our duty to help mothers who have trouble dealing with unwanted pregnancy.

Who are we to judge?

Some of you might be going through this conundrum at the moment; is it right, is it wrong beyond comprehension? Here’s my two cents: do what you feel is rightyour definition of right.

Let’s take a look at some real-life accounts of women who have done it, then hid it; and why they chose to make that decision alone.

“Told him it was a miscarriage” – *Ella

A few years ago, my husband persuaded me to go off birth control pills because he didn’t think it was necessary. I knew deep inside he wanted me to get me pregnant and would really want another child. We even had sex without protection at times.

I regretted listening to him, because it happened. The one thing I dreaded happened. I got pregnant for the second time at 22. I was only 22. I got married young, didn’t get to travel the world, and sacrificed my career aspirations the first time, I couldn’t do it the second time. The cost of living isn’t getting any lower too.

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I eventually told him I was pregnant, hoping I could get him to understand how I truly feel about having a second child at 22. But of course, he was elated – told his entire family; including second cousins – and ignored my desperate attempts to reason.

I just felt it wasn’t right for me to be pregnant at that time. I felt like I was stripped off of any options. I felt trapped, like someone else was controlling my life. I thought being honest would help – I was honest with him, told him why I didn’t want the baby and why we should think about it first before telling the family. But he went behind my back and did it anyway. The pressure on me grew tenfold after everyone found out I was pregnant.

A week later I went to a women’s clinic and got an abortion in Singapore without telling anybody. I lied to my husband, told him it was a miscarriage. I felt it was the right thing to do. I wanted to do something for me for once. Believe me, the guilt will always be there. But I have no regrets.

More stories about abortion in Singapore on the next page…

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