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Having arguments is normal for any relationship because they represent how comfortable and secure individuals feel together. It assures them of the comfort level they have reached, which makes it easy for them to speak their minds without hesitation.
Having said that, there is a fine line between healthy fighting and full blown arguments, which is easy to cross. These arguments can easily damage the relationship for good.
Here are 5 ways to reduce arguments in your relationship:
Most couples argue and it can easily get out of hand because each individual wants to prove that they are right. With the source of the argument being ignored, couples focus on one-upping each other until someone admits defeat. This doesn’t solve anything and only adds animosity.
Solution: Apologize (if needed), avoid being too personal, and stick to the point of the argument. Don't gloat even if you prove yourself to be right. Make sure never to bring up history during an argument.
Most marriage counselors recommend that couples should settle all their arguments before going to sleep. However, forcing yourself to resolve an argument just so you can sleep isn’t healthy at all. This is equivalent to saying sorry but not meaning it, just so you can go to bed early.
Solution: In order to keep peace, couples shouldn't scream and shout, but at the same time they should consider going to bed without resolving the issue. This gives them plenty of time to think over everything with a calm and collective mind. In the morning, the couple can proceed to talk about the issue but in a calmer attitude.
Couples argue significantly less when they reach a compromise. A compromise symbolises that both individuals want the marriage to work and would offer mutual sacrifices to attain it.
This attitude is very healthy and often is an assurance that the marriage will last for years and years. Compromise isn’t the key to reducing how much couples argue, but it is vital in making the marriage stronger.
When couples argue, it can escalate from mild to ugly in just seconds depending on what words are used. Couples should refrain from cursing at each other as well as using demeaning words.
Solution: Don't use foul language and be tactful. Avoid yelling and smashing stuff just to get your point across. All these negative actions and words can be traumatising and could lead to resentment in the end.
Couples argue often when the other is not really listening to what their partner is saying. Hearing is totally different from listening, even though both may sound like the same thing. If you 'listen' closely to your spouse, you can easily determine what they really want and feel.
Solution: When speaking to each other, shut off any outside distractions. This helps to make a point that 'I value you and am listening to you and trying to understand your feelings.' Do not be reactive until you hear your partner out completely. It does wonders.
In the end, couples argue and it's normal. However, you should find out what works best for you and your spouse to reduce these fights. What matters most is that both of you want to solve things fast and peacefully.
No longer a corporate slave to the banking industry, I am a certified Work-at-Home-Mom who is currently mastering the art of juggling domestic duties and writing articles.
Do you have any tips to share on how to reduce arguments? We’d love to hear from you.
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