15 reasons why your child should do household chores

"But I have to finish my homework!"

"I am just a kid, mum. How can I do this?"

"Aunty Rose will do it right, so why do I have to?"

Have you heard these from your child each time you ask him to help you wipe the table or place the clothes in the laundry basket?

It is only natural that your child makes the excuse, but it is your job to not excuse him. Here are 15 reasons why you should get your child to do some work around the house.

1. They learn to be independent

Loosen the reins on your child, let him be independent! Laying the table and washing the dishes help your child learn the value of doing things on his own.

We all know of that seven-year-old child who clumsily fumbles with the spoon trying to scoop rice for himself during a buffet. Or how about that 16-year old who does not know how to do his own laundry during an overseas school trip? Or even worse, how about that adult who struggles to fold his own clothes to pack for an overseas business trip?

Help your child function independently in the outside world even when you are not there. Sure, he may not be the neatest (not many children start off being neat!), but try not to find fault with how he has completed the chore. If you find that there are bits of dirt still stuck on that washed plate, tell him gently. Don’t scorn or nag.

2. They bond better with the family

If you feel that you are not spending enough time with your children, why not involve them in washing your car or preparing for dinner?

Doing household chores together helps to free up time for busy parents and children to have chats about anything, from their activities at school to the planning of the next holiday trip. The casual, non-threatening environment also helps children open up.

Doing chores as a family is the best way to make chores fun, so feel free to spice it up with some singing or cracking a few jokes. And of course, the chores also get happily done!

3. They get a boost in self-esteem

Ask your four-year-old to help out by clearing the dishes and cups on the table or helping you to dust the sofa. He would actually get a "high" from helping you out. It helps boost his self-esteem to know that his mummy thinks he is "grown-up" enough to trust him with the responsibility.

In fact, according to a research study by Marty Rossmann, Professor Emeritus at the University of Minnesota, giving children household chores at an early age, as young as three or four, helps them to achieve academic and early career success, thanks to an indirect effect of the early boost in self-esteem.

4. They learn to be kind and helpful

They say kindness begins at home. By lending you a hand with the dishes or helping your tired helper lay the table for dinner, your child learns how his actions meaningfully help others. That plants the seed of kindness in him.

Of course, paying your child would backfire on your efforts. So never offer any reward for doing the chores. The true reward is in the act itself - the positive feeling your child experiences, that seeding of kindness.

5. They learn "academic" skills

Learning to sort the laundry according to whites and non-whites gives your young child a first lesson in classification of things. Packing his own toys into toy boxes helps him understand about the concept of space. Helping in the kitchen gives him some practical tips about cooking before he starts his home-economics lessons in secondary school.

How about if your child is having problems with adding and subtracting? It may be a good idea to get him to go on regular grocery shopping trips with you. Remember to also give him some cash for the transaction (and not fish out your nets or credit card), and get him to make the payment at the cashier’s.

6. They learn to take pride in their possessions

When your child cleans up his room, he learns to not only arrange his things in a more orderly fashion but also have a hand at fixing up his room. He may want to display his sports trophy on the shelf or hang a drawing he had done in school in front of his bed, or even include some potted plants in his room to brighten it up.

If you by any chance do not fancy the décor created by your child, just refrain from saying anything negative about it or asking your child to take it down. This could be hard, but you have to try! You aim to give him ownership of his space, not in ensuring you have a beautiful house.

Let your child take pride in what he has, and get a first taste of how to make life a little bit more beautiful.

7. They become more "wholesome"

"Parents today want their kids spending time on things that can bring them success, but ironically, we’ve stopped doing one thing that’s actually been a proven predictor of success—and that’s household chores." - Richard Rende, a developmental psychologist in Paradise Valley, Ariz., and co-author of the forthcoming book "Raising Can-Do Kids."

If you excuse your child from doing chores at home because he has too much school work, then you may be sending the message that academic achievement is the most important thing in life.

By doing household chores, your child would know that he has skills that will help him live independently in the future. If he always produces stellar results, he may be just that: an academic achiever, nothing more. Given a household to run when he is older, he may fail miserably, and the desperate need to rely on someone else would become a slap in the face for him.

8. They learn the importance of cleanliness

Shape your child’s attitude on keeping his surroundings clean from a young age.

There are national messages encouraging people to keep their environment clean by not littering and by returning their food trays after eating. Even schools have class routines and students are expected to take turns to sweep the classroom, wipe the whiteboard and arrange the tables and chairs.

Naturally, it would be wise for you to give your child a turn at household chores at home too. If your child is only a toddler, you can start off by getting him to clean up after himself after eating or after a mud-splashing session.

9. They become more appreciative

You never know how it feels until it happens to you. Likewise, your child would never really understand the challenges in doing routine household chores until he gets a chance to get his hands dirty.

Washing the clothes, vacuuming the floor or washing the dishes can help your child understand the difficulties involved in doing a good job. In turn, he would learn to be more appreciative of you because you do these jobs every day.

Do thank your child if he has helped you or someone else in the house. It would make him feel appreciated too.

10. They learn the value of service

Just like kindness, service starts from the home.

When your child does tasks at home, he not only learns to be kind, he also gets a chance to be of service to others. With time, he would naturally serve people around him, be it for the school or for the country and beyond.

Having said that, you would have to be seen as being of service too. So, if you just plonk yourself in front of the television while your spouse is desperately in need of a helping hand, then you cannot expect your kids to do otherwise.

11. They grow up with no gender bias

If your child thinks that girls are meant to cook and wash while boys are meant to do rough work like gardening or not do any housework at all, it is time to overturn that belief!

By getting your child to do different types of household chores, he would learn that household chores are not the work of any one gender. Your child would thus develop a more broad-minded view of gender roles. It would be even better if both you and your spouse can do the household chores too, as role models for your child.

12. They learn to think more about others

Kids being kids never enjoy the prospect of doing household chores. Your child may seem enthusiastic about doing the chores in the beginning, but would groan and gripe later, as these routine chores wane in appeal over time.

What your child needs then are perseverance and discipline. These two key aspects go hand in hand in ensuring that drudgery gets done, regardless of its appeal.

Expect it to be difficult to get your child to keep at it, but be firm and it will become easier with time. It is about building character, and that does not happen in the snap of a finger.

13. They learn the value of discipline and perseverance

Taking care of his own living space certainly teaches your child responsibility, beyond just being responsible for his schoolwork. For example, sweeping the floor, washing his school shoes and caring for a younger sibling can be excellent ways to inculcate responsibility in him.

You could also praise your child once in a while about how responsible he has been, taking care of things around the house. Beware of overdoing this, though, as you would not want your child to come to expect praise as a reward.

14. They learn to be responsible

Sweeping the floor makes your little one think twice about tossing those pencil shavings on the floor, and cleaning the floor (and wall) after a "wild" painting session gives him a good idea of what happens after the "party."

That does not mean that you give your child household chores as a punishment – you would not want your child to come to hate chores. You only need to make him realise that he needs to face the consequences of his actions.

15. They learn to think about the consequences of their actions

If you secretly suspect that your child may be selfish and spoilt, he can benefit from being given household chores.

Having a duty to help out in the home would force him to shelf him selfish needs, such as finishing up that last page of a favourite storybook or feeling "not in the mood" for housework. He would be compelled to think about the needs of the bigger family unit, than just about himself as an individual.

It would also be a good idea to talk to your child about how the family needs him to help out, in order to function better together.