Then, I ran like a maniac around my house, purposely bumping into things like the sharp end of the table, the edge of my piano, etc. The only thing that got me was a bruise on the shin and the family dog racing after me thinking I was playing with it. After colliding with a vase and having the glass shatter all around me, I came to my senses. This foolish behaviour would have to stop and I seriously had to think of a way to get out of this.
Searching for a clinic
So after going through a few places that offered abortion services, I chose the one furthest from home. I had initially considered going across the causeway to have it done but the hassle of explaining my whereabouts to everyone made me drop that plan. It was just too risky.
It was a Monday morning. I still remember the day clearly because I woke up feeling like I’ve never felt before. Rejuvenated, happy and just full of enthusiasm for the day. Until, I realised this was the day I was going to kill my baby.
I wore my favourite dress and caught a cab to the clinic. It felt a little surreal and almost like a twisted version of ‘Rosemary’s Baby’. After the procedural signature signings were over, I was wheeled away. The word, ‘freedom’ was flashing in my mind in neon lights.
After what seemed like a trip to the unknown and back, I woke up with traces of anaesthesia. Resting for a while, I managed to groggily hop into a cab and go home. At home, I instructed the kids and the maid to leave me alone as I was having a bad case of the flu.
My husband believed the flu lie and the whole house stayed away from me long enough for me to rest. Today I’m a mother of 5 healthy children while all are none the wiser about my secret.
Yes, after all I’ve been through, I can say that abortion is bad, abortion is cruel and I regret what I did. But don’t you think bringing a child into this world and neglecting it, is twice as bad?
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the writer.