How to use time-out effectively with your kid

Out of the corner of your eye, as you stand chatting with another parent, you notice your kid doing something they’re not supposed to. Your options are quite limited, in a public setting. You could either, scold your child for what they did or excuse yourself to schedule a time-out session with your kid.

However, have you noticed if you’ve been doing this far too much or if your kid is showing signs that time-out’s don’t work on them as much as they used to?

These could be some of the reasons:

• Time-out’s happen AFTER the issue takes place.
  Rather than waiting to see if they misbehave, step in when you see them slowly getting crotchety. This way, you limit the amount of time-outs that you do enforce. It also shows your kid that you understand them and you know why they are starting to behave the way they do.
• Time-out is seen as form of punishment. But it’s not.
  The reality is that time-out is an opportunity for your child to remove themselves from the situation that’s upsetting them and relax. That one or two minutes away from the situation is when they get to collect their thoughts and think about how to project themselves better.
• Time-out is when words are hardly spoken.
  Don’t use this time to try to hammer the message home. It’s recommended that the amount of time a kid spends in time-out depends on their age. So if they’re two years old, it’s two minutes in time-out. During that time, avoid talking as much as possible. If you have to, keep it short and sweet. If they wander off during that period, make sure you bring them back to the time-out spot.
• Time-out is not for you to cool down.
  Don’t just send your kid off to the time-out spot every time you feel you can’t cope with your kid’s behaviour. It’s a time for them to cool off, not you. Sending them away every time you can’t cope gives them the impression they are always at blame. This may not always be the case but it’s certainly how you are presenting the situation to them.
• Time-out, if threatened, should be carried out.
  Always, always walk the talk. If you spot your child misbehaving, address the issue and why exactly it’s wrong. On the occasion that it does happen again and needs to be accompanied with a time-out session, make sure you deliver on the threat. If you make more than one warning and not enforce it, your child will carry on with the negative traits.

Here are a few links on how you can discipline your kid:

Learn how to discipline from your child’s perspective

Disciplining your toddler

Parent talk on boundaries

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