Porn Addict – True Singapore Story
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Addicted to Porn
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“I feel part guilt as I’m telling you my story, but no, I don’t think I’m cheating on my wife” so claims Jason*, 33 a successful property agent who has been married for three years to Christina, a petite and attractive teacher.
Jason began his flirtations with pornography since 14 when he was in secondary school. “I remember secretly looking at porn magazines like playboy which an affluent classmate would steal from his father’s stash and bring to school” recalls Jason almost fondly. He and his classmates would take turns to look at the pictures in the privacy of their classroom during recess. This slowly grew into a craving and he used to borrow pornographic VCDs and watch in the secrecy of his bedroom. This went on long into his university days.
The Wicked Wide Web
The Internet was a dream come true with easy access to online publications and tons of free pictures and videos. Jason remembers spending hours surfing and sieving through countless pages of pornographic material on his computer. The joys and pleasure that porn brought to him was unparalleled. Yet, Jason was never a socially backward individual. He had his fair share of relationships and fleeting romances. “I did enjoy the company of girls and never forced my online sexual fantasies onto my sexual partners” claims Jason. His porn addiction was his little secret. Eventually he met Christina* and fell in love. After a courtship of two years, they tied the knot and moved into their own 5-room flat on the eastern side of Singapore.
“I never thought I had an addiction to porn and expected my porn urge to quench upon my marriage to a woman I truly loved” says Jason. Initially his secret porn habits seemed to be curbed. Jason went days without his usual porn fix. Too enthralled by marriage life and the rigours of a new home his porn desires took a backseat, or so Jason thought. He remembers staying up late so just he could indulge in his clandestine activities. Jason was always careful to lock and make his computer password-safe. Christina never even suspected him of being a porn addict. “The early months of my marriage was sheer bliss and our sexual relations never suffered, however, slowly the excitement and intimacy began to dwindle” says Jason. He could not help but just wonder if this was due to his porn addiction that made him stay up at least 2 hours every night on the computer. He was gratifying himself sexually via pictures and videos on the internet. Each night he was fantasising and pleasuring himself to a different girl’s picture and Christina’s presence in his dark domain was simply diminishing fast.
Cracks in the marriage
After a year into his marriage, Jason was having sex once or just twice per month and he unashamedly admits that it was Christina who did all the prompting. Their marriage began to strain and Christina even suspected him of having an affair which Jason vehemently denied. He even brought her on a short holiday to strengthen the intimacy and trust between the couple. “Even on holiday it took quite a bit of resolve not to use the hotel computer to check the latest pictures on the porn sites” admits Jason. It was during this period that Jason realised he might have become enslaved to his secret habits. Yet, he couldn’t stop his indulgence. His fascination with porn evolved. Pictures and videos started to bore him. He found himself drawn to more hardcore material and the free websites couldn’t provide enough for his urges.
Jason began subscribing to pay-per-view pornographic material. “I was paying about $65 monthly to get my hands on the best videos” recalls Jason, his voice laden with guilt. He remembers almost getting caught late one night while pleasuring himself. Christina woke up and came out of the bedroom to check on him. Jason managed to catch a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye and just opened up a new internet page in the nick of time as she marched over. “I think she’s probably worried that I may be chatting with another woman or having cyber-sex with a stranger” claims Jason in his defense. His addiction went on and his marriage was strained to the point that Christina suggested a split. This was the spark that Jason needed.
He sought solace in his church pastor who he swore to secrecy. Jason began reading more self-help articles over the internet. His instrument of decadence was his saving grace now, in all irony. Jason was determined to make his marriage work but just could not find the courage to tell Christina. “I’m definitely not a bad husband, I love her too much to hurt her by telling the truth. Besides I’m totally faithful to her. Its just an online obsession” says Jason in an attempt to justify his actions. His actions appeased Christina and though their marriage is far from ideal, talk of a separation seems to be water under the bridge for now. Jason tucks Christina into bed and makes it a ritual to spend time just lying next to her talking and making her smile. As Christina drifts off into blissful sleep, Jason slithers silently out of the bed and into his seat of habit, opposite the monitor. He too drifts away, but into his own clandestine world. “I know I’m not cheating on her. I’m old enough to differentiate right from wrong, it’s just that Christina wouldn’t understand and it’s just my own way of relieving stress. Perhaps one day I’ll find the courage to tell her about my habit.
Am I addicted? Of course not” claims Jason. A gambler who refuses to believe he’s bound to the cards? Or an alcoholic laughing off the fact he’s enslaved to the bottle?
* All names have been changed to protect the identity of the parties involved.
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(27 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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You know it’s so sad, but I think many marriages actually face this problem. As heart breaking as it is.
What is wrong with guys? Can’t they see they are hurting their wifes?
Any guy would justify Jason’s addiction. Yet it’s disturbing. What happens when Jason has kids? Is he going to sneak off like that with them sleeping in the next room? And what if they see him looking at porn, wouldn’t they think ‘if dad can watch it, it must be fine’. Jason, think of your wife and everything else that stands or may stand in the way and try and seek help.
Men need to grow up. It’s not all about lust. A marriage is based on love and trust. When men watch porn they are breaking the bond of trust and hurting the foundation.
If its really nothing wrong with it, why wouldn’t men have the courage to talk to their spouse & be so sneaky about it, & they would rather hurt their marriage over something that they say is nothing! its all excuses to say that it help relieves stress when its just a bad habit that they can’t break!
“If its really nothing wrong with it, why wouldn’t men have the courage to talk to their spouse & be so sneaky about it”
because women will never understand men’s lust. any explainations will be futile.
it is true that woman will never understand men lust because we are physically and inherently different just like men don’t understand why women like shopping
it is true that woman will never understand men lust because we are physically and inherently different just like men don’t understand why women like shopping
my husband is facing the same problem with you.. he’s not cheated on me but when i know that he prefered to pleasuring himself with his habbit rather than with me..
i feel like… i better die…
right now i’m thinking about the divorce..
eh ?
Are you jealous of a computer ?
Watch it with him – you may learn a thing or two..
Well as a wife you may not understand what actually your husband is suffering of.A woman also could be in a relationship, even though she has a loving husband.It just that she feels the pleasure of getting attention.As long as husband do not have sex with another woman, let him be in his world and try to create another world of yours…
i once taught a little girl maths – she was only in P6 yet i caught her watching porn on her laptop. Its really sad.
Please seek some help, you can do it!
people, come to think abt it. if your wife is addicted to porn? as in, she is watching those muscular guy n start to have fantasy on them? hainv sex with the guy she watch frm the VCDs for at least 2hrs EVERY night? how will u GUYS(men) feel? fair? or just u can have ur lust n i can hve mine too? end up, divorce? try to think the other way round. dun always expect others to be in YOUR(men) shoes.
Sad to say I had caught my hudband surfing porn just recently! Worse still he has social network profile and been chatting with ladies behind my back. Confronted him n he went and say it is just online thing and he never go out with any of them. He never say he will stop and I still know he is still on the social network. Can anyone please advise me what I should do?? Divorce?? Im going crazy..
Well, ladies and gentleman. I have the solution. It might seems strange. Why not watch the porn together. It might feel funny at first, but in the end you both will have the most pleasurable sex together. Trust me I’m am doing this with my husband and its been a very satisfying 8 years of marriage with 4 kids. You’ll be surprise of some of the technics and position you experiment on each other.And through this you actually communicate and learn more about each other likings and dislikes of love making. There should be nothing else that can please you except your partners! Try it, you never know until you do.
What a good idea. You must have a great relationship with your husband. However, addiction is not such a good thing. I don’t think it’s the porn aspect that’s so bad, it’s the addiction that’s the problem.
Keep on having a great sex life, I wish you both well.
In fact my wifey likes this idea too when both of us are in the mood of…..sometimes she even took the lead by finding the VCDs, great huh? keke…
Try out this method and I believed it’ll spurs up your marriage life.
I thought porn was illegal in Singapore…
Been feeling hurt & betrayed that my hubby wld satisfy himself sexually thr’ pics & videos on the internet. We are close as a couple. Can’t imagine what goes on in his mind as he fantasises & pleasures himself to a different girl
Hi Fruits,
As much as some of us might hate it, watching porn and wanking to other women is normal for men.
For my hubby and i, we have a rule. if he wants to watch, we have to do it together, and we’ll see what he likes, and what i like…and i share my fantasies with him. it’s not as bad as u think.
try to talk to him abt it. you can broach it by telling him abt ur fantasies first. ia m sure u have some…
Hey Fruits,
A couple of mums have been discussing it over at the forum.
Maybe reading their responses, might help you.
Hi Nada, thank you so much for responding. This is the 1st time I am able to “talk” about this issue. I needed badly to let it out of my system. I can’t tell anyone we know as I feel it not fair to otherwise tarnish his wholesome & perfect husband & father image.
We used to watch porn together on & off. I actually feel that spice up our sex life. But he has not suggested in a long time. When I suggest watching, he would rather we go to the room & cosy up. So I get it that he prefers to indulge in this without me. He probably derives much more fantacising & pleasuring while watching other girls. Actually, I am ok if he lets me know that he is watching it but feel cheated & betrayed when he chooses to hide from me. Know what I mean?
I tried asking before what are his fantacies. He said as a superman doing it with me & when he needs it when I am not there, what happens. He said he does it in the toilet (bullshit when I actually know about his late nite secret activity). Thank you again for listening & letting me talk it here.
Have a frank discussion with him. If other things in your life with him are going well, and you guys are close, you should be able to express how much you don’t like this habbit of his.
Ask him if there is something that you are not doing right, and why is it that he resulting to external mediums.
I use to watch porn heavily, but after my wife and I spoke about it, I reduced tremendously.
Good luck. But remember that when you talk to him, don’t get all hysterical, and act barbaric, that will only cheese him off more, or make him go on the defensive.
I hope to get some frank & honest answers. When watching porn, do you guys fantasise being up & cosy with the girl(s) on the video(s) or up & cosy with your wife? Deeply appreciated.
A bit of both actually
Neither, I fantasize that I AM the girl.
Can I be the one behind the camera?
Sometimes it’s neither the women in the video nor the wife… it is someone that the man has a crush/fetish/fantasy on, including relatives and strangers on the train.
I surely agree with you. I have a friend whom I think is addicted to porn too. He is always saying about pleasuring himself with a woman whom he only met once along the street and how wonderful if he could have it out with her! I think he is a prevert!
girls on the video. Anyone who tells u otherwise is lying. Sorry.
Thank you Frank for responding. I wouldn’t have thot’ otherwise too.
Managed to resolve issue early this morning from 2am to 5am but will have to share more at a later time cos have to rush to pick son up.
Girls, you should check your hubbies web viewing history to make sure he is not visiting any of these two “local” sites – sggirls.com and sammyboy forum.
We should stay united in showing our displeasures to our husband.
Stay strong!
cheese, relax lady. it’s not like you can do anything about it?
I felt that I was going into depression trying to lead a perfect mother-wife life yet at the same time finding answers to my husband’s secret on-line activities. I was having sleepless nites.
I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him at 2am y’day (he knew I have been hot & cold towards him lately). He thot’ I was going to throw him out of the martimonial bed but I was very calm (with intermitent crying tho’). I told him in sincerity exactly how I felt & just wanted some answers. Even tho’ he suspected I might or might not know of it, he said I was the stronger one to finally burst the bubble to bring up the issue. He said that he wasn’t proud of it which was why he kept deleting history on web. He was also trying to kick the habit at the same time & didn’t want me to get on (for fear that I may be addicted as well). I felt so excluded all these while, I felt that he was shunning me out when we are very close in all other aspects of our relationship. Without all these being communicated, I was led to alot of misconceptions about a possible rife in our relationship, about him going astray. But it was also very confusing for me cos there wasn’t anything else that says that he isn’t a perfect husband/father. He was very open in what sites he surf, what was going on in his mind when he surf (just viewing, no chatting or whatsover) & that help me understand the picture better. I told him that I am open to him surfing so long as he doesn’t delete history. Funny thing was he told me that he actually wanted to download & share with me to spice up. All in all, my not being judgemental, not pin him down or shame him help him to open up in honesty to me. He even cried & apologise for the pains caused which he wasn’t at all aware of. Like I said earlier, we are a very close & loving couple. So the open communication even in a topic like this help us make up. We have been very passionate & close after that long communication.
I am grateful to all those who have shared which help me gather my thoughts & put across to him.
That is wonderful news Fruits. I am so glad that you had a heart to heart with your hubby.
How did you broach the subject? Did you like call him in the room and say you needed to talk, or did you guys drift into the topic. I have been thinking of havng the “talk” with my hubby too. But I am scared that he will get all defensive…
Hey Joy. Mine was quite “Drama”. I was hot & cold towards him the past few weeks. I was having sleepless nites & falling into depression. So after much deliberation & alot of research into this issue, I woke him up at 2am & asked if we could talk. I was very calm, non-judgemental & told him that I needed him to be totally honest & true. Asked him calmly what he was doing inside the room & what sites he was surfing & that was how the talk started. I stated again that I really didn’t mind him surfing the sites but I couldn’t stand being kept in total darkness. We agree on open communication as it has been all other areas of our lives.
Porn isn’t so bad. Mummies, if watching porn is too much for you to handle, you can read it. I’m a fan of literotica.com.
sounds just like me
I don’t know what to do. My relatively new husband is surfing porn. It makes me feel unworthy and small, unattractive and all the rest.
He tries to tell me that he isn’t fantasizing about other women but I feel it is the first step he is taking towards being unfaithful.
I’m not the least bit prudy and I love him so much I try anything to please him, but I can’t seem to tolerate his watching this.
TY: Get angry! Shout and go beserk, make it clear you won’t tolerate this behaviour. Instead, it sounds like you are retreating into your shell. ‘Can i talk to you about my feelings’ just ain’t going to do the trick.
It’s early in your marriage so roles have yet to be fully established. You need to start as you mean to go on.
Your husband looks at pornography, this is very normal, even if you don’t like it and want people to pretend that your husband is strange and there is something wrong with him. Most (not all) but most men will look at pornography at some point in their lives. It doesn’t mean they find you unattractive, it doesn’t mean they will cheat, it doesn’t mean they love you any less and it doesn’t mean that they have no respect for you. It’s a legal form of entertainment. It is sexual, and most men like sex and they like to do sexual things to make them relax.
It’s not a big deal.
I don’t think that is a fair statement. It’s a big deal to some women. And if it’s a big deal to them, then who are we to right off their opinion?
Its really no big deal .
For the man, please explain what do you mean by you love your wife but you also love to fantasize having sex with another woman.
You may not cheat physically but you have cheated your mind and heart to another person. And it is still CHEATING…
Withdrawing yourself from all home resposibilities of which your wife has to do bacause she is your wife and mother of your child whereas you are fantasizing your sexual bahavior behand her back is total irresponsible.
Sometimes I wonder if husband and wife don’t have sex and each party turn their sexual needs to porn… does it still mean I love you. What will be the reaction of a man if he finds out the wife is secretly looking at porn stars body, lusting over it and masturbating herself as and when she is alone and satisfying herself… will the man feel hurt?
Sad to say, nowadays man do not respect woman, worst even their wife… Man get together normally will include conversations about comparison of women’s body and their fantasy of sex with another even tho they are married…
Men expect their wife to do the duties of a wife and mother but THEY ARE SERIOUS SELFISH MANKIND who do not preach what they say…
Men are born Liars, selfish and clueless… They think women are stupid but am glad and proud to say women are smart in these modern times and can be independent to live alone even with a kid. Why should we torture ourselves mentally when Men just don’t respect themselves and others….
Problem is, we’re made that way. I don’t mean to offend anyone by this but it’s in our genes. Men and Women respond to their programming. Sure, most of us supress our instincts most of the time, but being sexually repressed is as much a problem as sex addiction. There is a middle way, but we have to work together to get there. Unfortunately society discourages frank sexual doiscussion, prefering to supress men and women’s sexuality whilst at the same time having enormous, porn and prostitution industries.
The control of sexuality is linked with control of reproduction and the inheritance of property. It’s down to money, power and greed. Adiction makes slaves of us all.
Well, lets just say men are selfish… and greedy… in aspect of fame, status and women… THey are never satisfied… They may have a wonderful family which they claim they love, but the temptations of porn will still lead them to forsake the importance in their lives… oh well…, thats why in this modern sociaty women are stronger than men in alot of things… because men have pea brains…
You’re probably right, most men are greedy, selfish and have small brains, but I still think it’s not our brains but our genes that control our sexuality. After all, there are women who enjoy porn too.
I get the feeling that you’re writing from personal experience. Me too.
well, first thing off, there ain’t nothing wrong with watching porn. in fact, to all those out there concerned about kids and porn, don’t be. porn is perfectly normal and it benefits one more than just physically.
second thing off, men are not selfish, in fact, we’re rather gracious. to married women out there, your husbands love you, but, they gotta watch porn. i mean, men simply need to jerk off. we just prefer to fantasize about someone who will not bring up other things and just enjoy the moment. i mean, i could never make love to my wife peacefully, it’s all too real. it’s the same woman who nags at me and does the dishes in sloppy joe clothes. cut us a break dammit. so, if you find out your husband is watching porn and jerking off with the notion of doing things with another woman, just be glad he’s not really with another woman.
third thing off, to all other mothers out there, if you’re sons aren’t watching porn, you should be very worried. it’s not normal. they might be sexually disoriented. and to dads, if your sons aren’t watching porn by like 15, introduce it to them; i know i will.
lastly, it’s perfectly okay to a man if his wife is pleasing herself with images of another man. it’s not wrong or illegal. men are okay with it, really. so women, why so you have so much trouble accepting our sexual needs? i mean, we put up with all your harebrained shit?
No wonder women nowadays have chosen to be independent and single because we have too many selfish and pea-brained men around. Why don’t we turn it the other way round, men have to work, come back do housework, clear the mess of children and your wife, take care of all needs of the family and financial aspect and after that take a good look of yourself in the MIRROR…
What rubbish!
“to all those out there concerned about kids and porn, don’t be. porn is perfectly normal and it benefits one more than just physically.”
Not only nonsense but harmful nonsense.
“third thing off, to all other mothers out there, if you’re sons aren’t watching porn, you should be very worried. it’s not normal. they might be sexually disoriented. and to dads, if your sons aren’t watching porn by like 15, introduce it to them; i know i will.”
You should be investigated for child abuse.
I’m not saying porn is always good or bad, but it is for ADULTS ONLY for a good reason.
You really should not be allowed to even be a parent, get some therapy you sick minded pervert.
I guess you’re expecting YOUR DAD to show you some porn when you reach 15!
well, what age were you all when you first watched porn eh? give that a thought. and look at the amount of teenagers and hell, kids that are waaaaay beyond porn and into making babies. when do you think they started? they were all kids. all. and there are several quiet porn surfing kids. no one says they turn out wrong, because they don’t. many do go on to being successful. BUT, think about the prudes that don’t watch porn and don’t even fantasize about being with a woman. how do you think they turn out eh?
There is plenty of research outlining the harmful effects of porn on adults, let alone children. Of course there are varying degrees of ‘hardness’ that should be considered, I don’t think it’s wrong for young people to see pictures of naked people, but I do think it’s wrong for them to watch porn because it affects their attitudes towards relationships, and sex crime.
However, the real problem we should be focussing on here is the addiction aspect. Addiction is always harmful, and yes, I am speaking from experience. And in answer to mcp’s question, first off, there wasn’t any internet when I was a teenager, and where I lived the only ‘porn’ you could find only showed photographs of topless women, not exactly porn!
I don’t think I actually looked for porn until after I was married – my wife and I went through a stage of watching porn together. This didn’t last long, as to be frank, it does get a bit tedious and repetitive. I suppose some might say the same about cannabis, the first two or three times are a fun, novel experience, but then it gets boring. We’re all different. I got off on dope for several decades, you get off on masturbating. WE all tend to defend our addictions and say “it’s not harmful” or “it’s not as bad as….”, but an addict is an addict. (BTW there’s a great book called “A Million Little Pieces” that talks about addiction, based on the experiences of an alcoholic drug abuser and his struggle – I highly recommend it.)
I totally agree with Lol. Men and women are wired differently for more than 50,000 yrs as humans as we are and over a million years of evolution to humans. You cant change all that in 50 yrs or 100 yrs. Look at lions, monkeys, Gorillas, they all have a no of females to one male. It is survival of the tribe by reproducing. Go back into history and you will find all the answers. Men cant do domestic work, produce and care for babies. They are tuned for outdoors, to hunt, get food and shelter and protect the females and kids for they are the future of the clan / tribe. As the economies have changed drastically in last 50 yrs or so, the roles need adjustment from both. Men are sexually very active and it is their way of releiving stress. Women talk/shop or care for the young ones to relieve stress. Some women are sexually overactive. It is perfectlly normal phenomena. Please read the book by Allen Pease. It is a commonmans Bible on man woman relations. It happens in all the societies of the world.
All those women who cannot find answers for their men’s porn addiction, please talk to them in a very friendly and mature manner, men like that way. If nothing comes out, then see a good Psychatrist. He will decode the problem and give you solutions.
Wish happy relations to all.
By the way “theAsianparent Converations. Jump in!”
What is a “Converation”?
oops!
corrected. thanks!
Thanks for the great spot!
Porn Addiction: What Can I Do?
The first thing you’ve got to do is admit that you struggle with pornography. Believe me, you are not strange or unusual if you do. Millions of men are at various stages in the struggle with porn. It’s really not surprising. The porn industry has spent billions of dollars trying to snare you. Is it really shocking that they have succeeded? For some of you there may also be issues in your past, such as abuse or sexual exposure, that makes porn addiction even harder to shake. There is only so much you can do in fighting addiction without help.
You need someone to help you break this addiction. Overcoming the secrecy is absolutely vital. You probably can’t escape addiction without it. That doesn’t mean everyone has to know you’re struggling. Pick someone you can trust who counsels men who are having problems with addiction — a pastor, youth group leader or counselor. Someone you can completely trust, feel safe with and has experience in the area of addiction isn’t going to be surprised.
Finally, a sane, level-headed voice on this thread! As I’ve said before, an addict is a slave – if you’re an addict, get help!
What’s everyones view if the wife is no longer interested in sex, and happy for the relationship to be that way ?
What is the husband to do find a mistress ? lover or experience one of Singapores licensed properties ?
That’s an excellent question. In such cases I think it’s important to engage the help of a sex therapist.
Also, I think for guys who’s wives aren’t having sex to them, they should literally ask them point blank, “If you arent interested in having sex with me, then how do you expect me to be sexually satisfied?” You can’t be in an asexual relationship all your life. Esp if you are below 45!
Interestingly, when men go astray, they’re the bad party of a relationship, even though their partner wasn’t satisfying them. If you can’t eat at home, are you to starve, or eat outside ?
If pornography fulfills a sexual need and reduces the need for men be involved with another person, its not a bad thing.
Bottom line, behavior has to be judged in the context of the bigger picture, not just at one point in time.
LL has a Million Dollar question. To have any of the other options, you need lot of money. If you are not that rich, then? That is why in some tibes / religions you are allowed multiple wives and they all live peacefully. The south American civilizations treated “Licenced Properties” with great respect for they worked as a pressure release valve system for the society. They were very much part of the society and highly respected by all.
Easy – get a new wife.
There are plenty of girls out there who love sex.
BTW, are you married? Sounds like you are otherwise you will not be so fast and easy with getting a new wife. Pity your present wife as she may be the next one to join the ‘recently divorced’ category. You sound like one of my friend.
After reading each and every single comments…I must say…an addiction is bad….thats the bottom line. Its just the same as other sort of addictions..Game Addicts…Gambling Addicts…Drug Addicts…they all mess up someone’s life in a way or the other.
Games influences those Game addicts to have sleep disorder or skipping meals.
Gambling negatively influences those gambling addicts with a threat with of going bankruptcy.
Drug Addicts….well…you know what drugs do to their health…
In porn addiction, one might face a couple of consequences when they’re hooked.. 1)Career problem 2)Sleep Disorder/Lack of Sleep 3)Marriage Problem …so on and so forth.
A Solution to those who’re porn addicts who’re trying to break free of the addiction
1) Have a hobby and participate actively in it (In my case, I love drawing and watching Animes[One Piece ^^])
2) Talk to your spouse (Which almost all the above comments had suggested)
3) Get a counselor
With that, I end my comment
PS: Im just a 19 year old teenager going through the porn addiction stages too..and Im trying my best to break free off it with the methods I mentioned above (actually, just method number (1))
I think man either highly sexed or not are visual creatures. Frankly I am a woman and I will watch porn with hubby too although he does it by himself more (hope IDA not reading this LOL). But he stops short of pleasuring himself. To him it is a curiousity. I rather he watching porn at home. at least you know no diseases can be spread right. In fact porn has spiced up our bedroom antics so really don’t always think of porn as a four letter word. But writer not giving it to the wife is wrong. In fact if he open up to her, he might be pretty surprise at how adventurous his wife will be 2!
How do u suggest that a guy tell his wife, or broach such a subject.
There is nothing wrong with looking at a bit of porn. My wife also loves it – but she is from Europe where the girls and women there have a much more mature outlook to porn and sex. In Singapore girls here seem so prudish..”of sex so bad lah” I think they are more turned on by the latest hand phone.
We take the laptop to bed and watch porn, this gets both of us turned on and we have great sex.
Grow up Singapore. And for goodness sake why does the government censor the best porn sites ?
Are you European as well? Curious.
Yep…also European lah
Loving the lah!
Bro I started as you, and my marriage has ended up divorce, even though we have watched it together at earlier stage. She stopped and I got hooked. Porn wasn’t the core reason for the separation but it was a chain of action started from there. Save your LOVE before its too late.
Why couldn’t u stop? Just curious? What made u addicted?
i agree with all the woman here, i am 20 this year and i had the same situation as well. in the end both of us call the counsellor helpline together to resolve this issue.
Why did you guys choose to see a counsellor about this situation? And did the counselling help? Please help to share your experiences with us. Thank you
It’s very common for men to have lust and love to watch porn or whatsoever. watching infront of children is wrong of course. But watching with partners is the best solution to solve everything. Seriously, the males are made this way. nothing wrong with watching porn. What is it that bothers you so much when you husband/boyfriend is watching other female online, but not showing himself? Is it because you feel that you couldn’t provide him with what he wants? If you don’t want to do so, then it’s nothing wrong. In another way of praising it: if you like shopping, you men doesn’t like it, so does it mean you can’t even do window shopping or shop alone? BUT, if you are willing to give yourself to him and it doesn’t seems to turn him on, maybe you should do something new to bring him on. Why complaining and so bothered about your partner watching porn? There is nothing wrong, seriously.
Another problem: If womens think that those seen in porn are sluts and bitches, look at how Singapore women wear on the streets. If you are saying SG women are conservative, please look at the dress sense and how they manage to cover their “holes” in dressing.
That’s rude. Dressing sexy is not equivalent to porn!
My praises on:
Aj says:
January 12, 2010 at 3:19 pm
My wife and I also watch porn. She is from Germany – there the girls are raised in a less puritan and victorian way as they are in Singapore. She enjoys sex just like many other women and often explores different scenarios – sex with other people in swinger clubs. There is an active swinger scene in Singapore – mostly Europeans who get together now and again and enjoy each other. It does not mean that we are cheating on each other – its just physical and we also share the pleasure as a couple.
If you like Porn, tell your partner. If she can not take it – change your partner ! You need to find someone who you can live with who is in line with your desires…
Just my 10 cents’
Wow, swinging in Singapore. I must be living in a well. *gasp*
Well they don’t call it Sin City for nothing…..