I Gave Birth At 18!
At the tender age of 17, I met the man of my dreams. After receiving blessings from my parents, we decided to tie the knot.
After our whirlwind courtship and marriage, I presumed my life would settle down. How wrong was I. A mere three months after my wedding, I found out that I was pregnant. While I was extremely happy and thrilled, a part of me also felt scared. The thing I feared most, was losing my freedom, after all I had been regaled with such tales by some friends.
As expected, my life changed DRAMATICALLY after giving birth to Shaheer, my precious jewel. While my life was suddenly filled with colour and untold happiness, I did lose my much coveted freedom. In addition to that, I became a stay-at-home mum as my maternal instincts were working over time! I could not bare to be away from Shaheer. The idea of leaving him behind made me feel miserable and insecure. Is this what they call a mother’s sacrifice?
However, truth be told: having a child is no joke. I don’t even have the words to describe it. I guess the closest terms are difficult, never-ending and occasionally frustrating! You have to be constantly on your toes. You have to be ready to step in and face any emergencies. The amount of sleepless nights, diaper changes and constant wailing is enough to drive anyone crazy! I wonder how some people handle having five or more children.
Many a times, friends would ask if I regretted my decision of having a kid this young. But nah, I’ve never regretted it. No doubt my friends refuse to believe me!
Shaheer’s presence into my life has taught me that life is about giving and sharing the love you have with others. I’ve learnt to be mature and responsible of the journey that lies ahead of me and the future of Shaheer that I am entrusted to mould.
A friend of mine recently asked me if I would ever encourage anyone my age to be a mum. My answer? No, never. As it takes so much out of you. You can say goodbye to going out as you please or enjoying life the way you like. You are suddenly in a world of restrictions. To sum it up, it’s a great change! – Zubaidah
(4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5)
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Oh you’re moving out from in law..Yes that true living on our own the best no misunderstood with in law. It all depend how you handling as for me i staying with my in law. I’m happy with at least elder people at home it a bit save for my kids as you know nowsdays parent working kids enjoying after school…So by staying with my in laws at least my kids don’t dare to go out after school as my in law will be at home to guide them. You still very young it better you stay with elder people at home it for your own good.
Wow now Zubaidah online…
So tell me how do you get to be in this article?
This pages the best among all. So many people are chatting… I will get my frens to be in this pages just to see preety young lady.
According to the Singapore Department of Statistics our divorce rate has doubled over the last decade and as of 2003, every ten marriages registered in Singapore almost 3 ended in divorce. One way we can combat this is getting married later!
Not every marriage will end with a divorce. You must plan your future and look ahead to be together. Communication is essential in a marriage regardless a year , 2 years or 5 or more. I’m married for more than 3 years and we are still loving , nothing change except I falling in love more and more each day. With presence of our child , I feel I become more responsible, sensible and make me work even harder to achieve for better future for my family. Those that end up with a divorce , didnt think far enough, probably lack of understanding, communication, trust are not there to supplement their marriage. I love this website, and if possible would like to hear from father more
Theasianparent, you are the best website I ever come across:)
Well Geraldine too me if you choose to get married mean u want to start a family. starting a family mean having a house and do everything on ur own….it time for our parent to take a rest…
hmm Statfrat if human have the same thinking of u then there will be no Singapore Department of Statistics my dear life is never perfect..every one make mistake…
faruk he’s rite…but in marriage if there is no trust,understanding Etc then for sure it will end with divorce sooner or later
Hazel why nothing from you…YOu told me you comment something yesterday..
Hi Zubaidah…But you too young and just start working and i guess CPF also not enough. Must be your husband rich that why you can effort to buy a house. You so lucky then.
Hi can i get to know you?
Geraldine yess im young but my thinking is not young and true no enough CPF but my hubby werk for quit sometime so with his we can!he’s not rich we live simple…..
Age is just a number. You could be 18, but at the same time you could be more mature than a 28yr old. So long as you are physically, mentally and emotionally ready, and mature enough to be responsible for your actions, I think you are respectable!! All the best girl!!
Hi Zubaidah I amaze on ur scarifices
Geraldine i’m young but my thinking is mature..yap my CPF is not Enought but my hubby werk for quit sometime with his we can..he not rich we live simple life..like normal human.
Some of you guys here may give her negative comments for getting married young..but let me tell you this..its really worth it for her!! coz she’s got herself such an adoarable and smart baby!!..I’ve seen him personally..God! He’s so smart..never seen any other babies as smart as him..and on top of that..he’s so adorably cute!!
Hey Zubaidah..all the best in your life!!
Love….
I thot me givin birth at 22 was considered young! Zubaidah you are doin VERY well!
Geraldine: stop being discouraging.
hey, we R yOung mummies~ Nothing wrong giving birth @ young age. I was pregnant at 17years old & gave birth to mOii 1st gal @ 18 & 2nd gal @ 19. Now the elder 1 turns 3yrs old, while e younger 1 coming to 2yrs old in Aug. Having HaPpY maRriaGe tOo!~ *ChEeRs* TaKe CaRe & enjOy mOtHeRhOoD LiFe~ =D
a very interesting article… Married at such a tender age… Zubaidah, I’m impressed at your abilities. So what’s your secret to a happy family.. You’ve got it all, a husband, a son…. Have a blissful marriage.
Wow! Zubaidah article so popular. In Malaysia all of us talking about you and
read all your comment from outsider. Yes it too young for you to get married and give birth but it all call in Malay “JODOH & TAKDIR”
Hi boleh berkenalan
Perempuan ini so famous dekat Singapore. Dapat banyak comment2. Boleh berkenalan?
AsianParent commented earlier that there’ll be an article on ur husband.. It’ll be interesting to read his story. When?
AsianParent should take this article down. Zubaidah doesn’t deserve a spot on this website. She contradicts herself through and through with this article. Is she for real?
I think she’s writing from the heart. Remember, this is a blog – written by amateurs, not a newspaper article that has been written and research by a professional journalist (probably a graduate) then edited and sub-edited by other professionals. Don’t be so hard on her — she’s a teenage mum, not Dan Brown! BTW are you for real?
go go mummy.. wad a cute bb u hv.. i was married at 17 too.. my son is nw 6months old.. good luck too u yeah =D
well done.
all the best to you and your family.
zubaidah is a stronger woman…..with whatever shje go thru now ….i really hope her marriage will work up….
Too all who want to know her article on ur husband.. go to get real, then look for ” I married 17 year old girl
hi zubaidah, firstly i want to say congratulations. u r very brave. wow. and u have a cute baby. how old is he now? well, here’s in my country, it’s normal when we live with the in law. also Alhamdulillah my mother in law is very care about me. but now we live with my mom. and its ok for my husband. i hope God always blesses your family and always be a happy family.
u have a beautiful son..and u look better after having a child. god bless u & ur family
Hi! Do you find kids more difficult to handle than in the past? Need your views for a survey. Appreciate your precious feedback!
Hi Zubaidah,
Congratulations to you for being a mother.. It is indeed a wonderful experience. Age is not a factor in determining when to have a kid. If we referred to our grandmothers, some of them were having kids at 15 or 16 years old. But they manage to bring up a great human being also. Anyway to Zubaidah, hope you have a great future ahead with your husband and your kids.
There are many pro’s and con’s on this subject. On one hand if you have your kids when you are young, you’ll have a better chance of “getting your life back” and returning to – or starting a new – career, before you’re considered too old.
Higher education is usually better when you’re a “mature student” and work life makes more sense when it’s put into context by having a family.
On the other hand you’ll miss out on being an irresponsible teenager/youth.
When people talk about maturity, I think sometimes they forget that maturity, like wisdom, doesn’t automatically come with age, but is earned through experience. 18 can be just as wise and mature as 28.
As long as you’re prepared to stick at it and you and your partner love each other, I think it can be a very good thing.
I think I ought to qualify my previous comment “As long as you’re prepared to stick at it and you and your partner love each other, I think it can be a very good thing.” – But I wouldn’t recommend it! Personally, I think 21 or 22 is a good age to start a family. It does depend a lot on how long you’ve known each other and how much support you can count on from your families.
Go go girl! (: I gave birth at a young age of 14 too! Woah~! Seems like young mothers are all around! ^^
Hi Zubaidah,All the best ! Your baby is so cute.
As for me, I gave birth at the age of 16 and now i’m a mother of 5 kids.
with one of them now a teenager.
I never once regretted of being a young mother at a young age.
Frankly there will be people who will look down on young mothers but i don’t care about what they say or think.
At least now i can understand and communicate with my teenager daughter better.
Which women in their right mind will want to be a mummy when they were only in Secondary 1 or 2? These are mostly shot gun cases. Sex before marriage.
Hellos! Wow! Go girl! =DD
I’m also a young mother myself. My son is currently 4 years old & I became pregnant with him when I was just 14. Like you said,everything changed alot and scarifies have to be made,but still,there’ll never be regrets. And like what Fiona said,who cares about what others think? We know we’re happy,& we know we did the right thing! No matter if it’s a shot gun marriage,single mum,or a planned marriage,as long as we know we’ve done it right,& we’re happy with it,we can happily says that we’re a proud mummy of our kids! People who look down on us? Well,they just don’t understand the happiness & toughness that we’ve been through. ((: All the best girl! =DD