Breaking Confinement Rules
From the first day the news of my pregnancy was made public, I was constantly reminded of the various confinement rules I would have to adhere to upon giving birth.
The logic behind these century-old confinement rules ranged from acceptable to outright bewildering. It just made no sense to me why I should not wash my hair for one whole month after the birth of my child.
Fortunately for me, my husband and I attended antenatal classes at Thomson Medical Centre and were corrected on most of these historical practices by my class instructor – the reputable Mrs Wong Boh Boi.
Although it has been almost two years since I sat in that class, I still can recall her incredulous expression when she shared with us that “it is nonsense that you cannot shower or wash your hair after birth”. Mrs Wong emphasised that it was basic personal hygiene that we should pay more attention to – especially if mothers were to breastfeed – and also to prevent infection of any stitches we would have had due to delivery.
Down the Rabbit Hole
After I had delivered my boy via emergency C-section, I took Mrs Wong’s professional advice to heart and ignored all the superstitious warnings of rheumatism and migraines. I showered regularly in warm water and washed my hair, but to play safe, my husband would close all the windows and doors to ensure I didn’t catch any “wind”. He also insisted I dry up and get dressed quickly in something warm instead of inspecting my new figure naked.
In my situation, it helped because we did not hire a confinement nanny or lived with any of our parents, so there were no elders around to constantly question my rebellious behaviour. My father, however, did nag me each time he visited us and brought Chinese rice wine for me to wipe my body with in replacement for showering. Of course I took no heed and continued to shower. It made no sense to me to rub alcohol on my body when my newborn would be suckling off an alcohol-covered breast every few hours. Also, I could not imagine rubbing alcohol anywhere near my fresh cesarean wound! That bottle of wine still sits in my kitchen today, with the original seal intact.
As for the various special dietary needs of a new mum, I only managed to stick to two weeks’ of confinement food – provided by a confinement caterer – before I gave up and cancelled my order for the rest of the month. I also have to admit that I had burgers and fries from the nearby 24-hours fast food chain, pig’s organ soup, ice-cream, roti prata, breakfast cereal with ice cold milk, chocolates, sushi, potato chips and other foods that would have sent most other confinement mothers into a panicked frenzy.
Instead of the usual longan and red date tea that most new Chinese mothers would have to consume, I downed at least three litres of water daily (half of it being iced water) and I also had the some sodas and fruit juices. I was feeling parched from my new duties of breastfeeding and – having given birth during the hottest mid-year period – had a constant thirst that was screaming to be quenched. The red date tea did nothing but made me more thirsty, and I was beginning to wonder if my milk would start tasting like red dates and longans very soon.
In one ear, out the next
The Malay lady masseuse I hired cautioned me that all that water would cause water retention and mid-section bloating. She shushed me when I tried to explain and pointed out my dry lips to her, but she did share with me that back in her childbearing years, most mothers had believed that formula milk was more beneficial and few actually breastfed their babies. She had never breastfed, but she understood that nursing was thirsty work indeed.
Before she left my home, she reiterated that it “would be best” if I drank no water and purely survived on red date tea. I did what most mothers in my position would do: Nod, and then ignore the comment.
During my postpartum check-up with my gynecologist, she questioned me on whether I had been keeping in line with the traditional confinement practices. I told her the truth without any hesitation and, in my amusement, she shared with me, “Neither did I when I had my children.” Being a doctor and a mother of two, I believe if she has had no repercussions from her confinement misbehaviour, I would be similarly safe from any of those midwives’ tales. She also told me that if I experienced any backaches, it would be due to the back strain during pregnancy and the new task of holding my newborn constantly.
She emphasised that it would not be a side-effect of the epidural I had during my cesarean operation or because I had not been following confinement rules. I must admit that having my doctor tell me all these really made me feel I made the right choice by doing what I did.
I am also glad to share that despite my “disobedience”, I have not experienced any aches and pains, and I would like to remind mothers-to-be that as long as common sense and moderation is applied during the confinement period, you and your new baby would be safe and sound.
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Wow! You are brave. I really admire you siah!
*nods in agreement*…My mum will probably agree with the 3l of water a day and daily bathing too. But I doubt my future mother-in-law would thou’…>.< Considering the fact that the 2 yr old grandson was forbidden from bathing / sponging down, despite a temperature of 39 deg C that was still on the rise, for fear of him getting a cold / "jing fong" as they always say...*shudders at the recollection*...I seriously highly doubt she'd allow these practices...>.<
I agree with you. I hate all these myths… I mean some can be adhere but some are out of the questions and beyond my sense
erm.. I had a confinement nanny. And apparently, i think it’s ok to shower daily, but need to shower with a mixture of herbs.
Initially I was really not keen in following this at all. However, I came to realise that showering with the herbs cleansed my skin and closed up all my pores. My skin feels so much smoother after showering with the herbs. In fact, it was better than pre-preg times. So, this is one tradition I gladly followed
Hi hi. You’re a great encouragement to me! I’m currently having my confinement and my mother and aunties really made me quite miserable with all the confinement rules. My husband and I made it very clear to them that we heard all their ’suggestions’ and the ultimate decision-making lies with us.
Initially, i washed my hair every other day. But later, can’t tahan the HOT weather. Now wash every day! Yay!
I heard and still am hearing all this advice and ur right my dr who also has children said I was silly and that she took a shower 20yrs ago! she said that since we are breastfeeding and after a c-section we should keep ourselves clean! I sweat so much after the hot shower that I can’t imagine anymore wind getting in!
Totally agree with the article. When my mum and mum-in-law said my hands can’t touch water, I looked at them incredulously. I cannot imagine not washing hands after peeing and moving bowels, especially when I had to apply medication to my episiotomy wounds. Personal hygiene is topmost important when handling our newborns!
I am glad that I am not the only one who bath and wash my hair after gave birth. I can’t imagine myself without bath and wash my hair for one month. I mean it’s real dirty and unhygienic since we need to care for our baby.
I even gone out to run an errand. Being a foreigner staying here, I do not have my own parent or siblings here to help me out. My husband need to work and it is impossible to get his family to help out, since each of them has their own things and family to take care of.
Yea… i am due on March, now am readily to fight all the nonsense unhygiene practice, i will b doing my confinement in my mother in law house n have a confinement lady…. but i will explain to them… it is time for them to see things from a proper angle rather than pass this non-practical rules to the next generation.
I also believe that regardless of whether u practice it or not, if one’s do not eat, sleep or exercise well…. they will still have all the back pain they claims causes by poor confinement period.
But I will still wear tight to cover my body, on the other hand… sweat it out… i think it is good. And about the ginger and alcohol content in food to be consume, I think as long as it is on a moderate consumption that will b alright as I wanted to breastfeed my baby after that.
I hope I can go through all this challenges ahead.
Thanks for the article and proves them wrong… now i will even b more firm with my own decisions and luckily my husband also stand by my for this.
Thank you.
thanks for this! I am feeling so much better after reading this article and all the comments. It has been a miserable one week now in my confinement having to listen and folow all the rules that does not really make sense. Yes, hygine is the best policy and how can this be ignore and avoided in any case. Not bathing is really not making any sense and to add on to this, that you can only bath after one month!! Ridiculous isn’t that. How can you enjoy confinemnet under such a situation? NO definately not enjoying at all with this rules around you but insted stress you up and make you tension. Crying over this rules of not bathing and at the same time have to care for my newborn is indeed making me stress out and tension. Iam so afraid that i will get post natal depression. BUt after reading this article, it somehow gave me reassurance that all this really have no medical evidence and reason for follwoing but rather just mere traditional myth. i kinda of feel release now. I have been searching for evidence on how true all this traditional beliefs so to reassure myself that i do not need to stress myself out following this rules just because i fear for future health changes. again this articles help regain all my energy now to pay more attention to my newborn without having to feel stress out.